


Metamorphosis

by runawaydirtbag



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: All the Fucking Tags, And lots of love, Body Modification, Brothers, But there will be healing, Emotional Manipulation, Family, Family Feels, Healing, Horror, Human Trafficking, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Tis a bad time for the boys, Trauma, Violence, eventually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:40:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 17
Words: 33,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24442987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runawaydirtbag/pseuds/runawaydirtbag
Summary: A forgotten accident results in one of the brothers being raised under the iron rule of the Shredder. When Raph, Donnie, and Mikey encounter a highly skilled mutant resembling them, the brothers must make a decision that could change their family forever.
Comments: 51
Kudos: 112





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first upload, so be kind! This story isn’t cannon compliant, not beta’d (but I tend to be my own beta reader), and I envisioned it being about the 2012 turts. Enjoy!

Sometimes… things just happen… Whether by fate or luck or coincidence, things happen. You can’t stop it and you don’t really understand it, not in the moment, not until you sit back and consider the aftermath. Then you understand. Then you really understand. 

~*~

Three shadows, low and quick, move across the rooftops of New York, traversing the concrete terrain in an effortless way cultivated by a lifetime of training. Calloused feet hitting pavement accompanied by low pants create rhythmic beats only they can hear over the noise of the city below. The air is calm, the people below sedate from the beautiful summer night atmosphere. It’s a perfect night for crime. 

Suddenly, the shadows halt and crouch low behind the parapet of the building they’re on, eyes making quick passes of their immediate surroundings to ensure safety. Leaning against the parapet and regaining their breath, the three speak in hushed whispers.

“This it?” Raph asks, still gasping for air. 

“Should be,” Donnie responds just as out of breath.

“Ooooo boy! Let’s shut this party down!” Mikey excitedly whispers, earning a frown from his brother in red.

Donnie ignores the interaction, reaching in his duffel bag while the others keep silent watch. When Donnie removes his hand, a well-used set of binoculars is revealed and placed against his eyes.

“Alright. This is definitely the place,” Donnie says with confidence, scanning the area below. About 20 Purple Dragons are stacking boxes in the back of a van, a few standing aside to survey for intruders. Guns and knives adorn all of them, glinting in the soft moon and city lights. “There’s a lot of them, but we should be able to take them out and recover the weapons.” Replacing the binoculars in the duffel, Donnie turns to his brothers who give silent nods and, in Mikey’s case, a big smile in response. They’re ready to do this. 

The brothers catapult over the side of the building, ingrained agility and alertness preserving their secrecy from the targets. Silently, the three split to surround their enemies. The first few go down unnoticed and it seems to be a relatively smooth take over. However, what Don would call a slight miscalculation in equipment storage causes one of his smoke bombs to drop out of his belt. Of course, it rolls into the open, allowing a Dragon to catch a glimpse of the moving metal. 

"Hey! Who’s there?” A gruff voice calls, raising his gun and immediately alerting the rest of the Dragons to the disturbance. 

Raph peaks across from behind a crate to see the commotion and inwardly sighs. Readying himself to attack, he positions his sai and runs into the open. Using the butt of his sai, he knocks out the closest Dragon, gaining the attention of the rest and officially getting this fight started. Smirking, Raph proceeds to take down more Dragons as Donnie and Mikey make themselves known. 

“Sorry!” Donnie yells into the fray while introducing a few Dragon faces to the strength of his bo. 

“Next time,” Raph starts, punching another Dragon in the stomach, “at least pull the pin first!”

“Yeah Don, don’t you know ninja etiquette? Sheesh, the nerve!” Mikey shouts from a few feet away while kicking a gun from his most recent assailant’s hand.

The brothers steadily disarm and incapacitate the Dragons, clearly set to win this fight. 

From above, however, a silent figure watches the conflict with growing displeasure and narrowing eyes. Scoffing, he makes his way to the fray. Picking out one of the brothers, he draws his twin katana and moves to strike.

Out of the corner of his eye, Raph notices the gleam of light on metal. Turning, he sees a figure approaching Mikey with deadly speed. “Mike!” he yells to get his littlest brother’s attention while moving to grab a kunai from his belt.

Mikey looks up from his latest take down, eyes widening as he meets the gaze of this new enemy. Stormy blue eyes, stern and predatory lock on to his own baby blues. Time slows as he realizes he won’t be able to move fast enough to defend himself. 

Before the enemy can strike, however, Donnie’s bo comes down on one of the blades with such force that the opponent almost drops it.

As the enemy jumps back, Raph arrives, pushing them further away from his brothers.

“Who the hell’re you?” Raph growls out as he parries the blades with his sai. This new person is fast and clearly skilled, but something isn’t right. They’re dressed in all black and have a black headband similar to Raph’s own. They also seem to have an anthropomorphic build, but the lower half of their face is not human. It’s glaringly obvious they’re something else.

A new mutant? Raph thinks as he blocks yet another attack.

The mutant starts pushing back twice as hard, forcing Raph into strict defense to avoid the katanas. Seeing their brother struggle, Mikey and Donnie look for opportunities to support Raph, jumping into the fight when possible.

“Who is this guy?” Mikey yells as he dodges a particularly close swipe of the blades “And why is he so good?!” 

Clashing bo to katana, Donnie is shoved and kicked in the jaw. “Ah!” he yells, stumbling back. Raph steps to the front again, protecting his little brother. “I don’t know, but he must be with either the Purple Dragons or the Foot,” Donnie says, rubbing his cheek and regaining his footing.

“Whoever he is, he’s gonna regret getting in the way!” Raph shouts, trying and failing to find a weak spot.

The new mutant grins at this, eyes gaining a look of arrogance, and side-steps Raph’s attack. With a final kick to Raph’s shell, the mutant suddenly turns to run, intending to leave the brothers.

“Why you son of a-,” Raph starts, pushing himself back up and getting ready to chase after the mutant.

“Raph!” Donnie yells, reaching for his eldest brother “Wait!”

“What now?” Raphs yells back, turning and aggressively knocking his brother’s hand away.

“The van’s gone. They got away,” Donnie responds, panting.

Looking past his brothers, Raph sees that the van is, indeed, gone with all of the weapons that were stored inside. The remaining Dragons must have taken the opportunity to speed off unnoticed.

“Argh! Dammit!” Raph shouts, looking for any unlucky enemies still conscious enough to fight to no avail.

“What do we do now?” Mikey asks, holding his left arm close to his body. Noticing his obvious discomfort, Donnie rushes to grab his stashed duffle bag then moves to inspect the shallow slash on Mikey’s forearm.

“We find out where they took the weapons,” Raph growls out, now looking in the direction the mutant disappeared. “And then we’ll deal with whoever the fuck that was,” he says, pointing with his sai.

Donnie scoffs as he wraps Mikey’s arm, “We already know where the weapons are going. Shredder.” 

“Fine. Then we’ll find mister dark an’ mysterious. He’s gotta be tied to the foot,” Raph says angrily, turning to look over his brothers and assess the damage. The left side of Donnie’s jaw is bruised and slightly swelled and Mikey seems to be fine besides the cut.

Yelping as Donnie ties the bandage on his arm, Mikey pulls his hand away and looks to his brothers. “Dudes, is it just me or was that like, another mutant?”

“Well, he definitely wasn’t human,” Donnie answers, putting his medical supplies in his duffel bag and considering the new enemy. “Actually, he kind of looked like us minus the shells.”

“Well it doesn’t matter what kinda mutant he is, we just gotta take him out.” Raph says, emphasizing his point by shoving a fist into his open palm.

The loud growling of a stomach cuts through the tense air. “Sorry,” Mikey says sheepishly, now moving his hand to his stomach. “Think we can talk about this over pizza?”

This gains a begrudged grin from his eldest brother. “Sure Mike,” Raph says, patting his little brother’s head as he walks by.

Leave it to Mikey to make a shit day better in the dumbest way, Raph thinks, now intent on getting his little brothers home.

Turning to look back once, Raph huffs at their poor luck, thinking about the new mutant and what it could mean for their family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what’d you think? Questions? Comments? Concerns? You know where to drop em. Constructive criticism is greatly welcomed. Also, there will be no relationships in this, we're focusing solely on the bonds of family here.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I never really liked the idea that even though the turtles in some fics grow up separate, they have the same names. There's no way Shredder would conveniently name him Leonardo. That just wouldn't happen. So for probably the first half of this story, Leo will be referred to as Kappa (if you don't know what that is, I rec Googling it, it's a pretty fitting name all things considered). But don't worry! It doesn't stay like that forever.

Walking down this corridor always gave him a faint, nagging sense of anxiety. Maybe it was from the tall, imposing statues and angry paintings that were evenly spaced along the walls. Or maybe it was the memories of not being able to walk back down the corridor. Either way, Kappa felt annoyed and on edge by this bout of emotion.

Approaching the door, he makes sure to keep his gaze averted from the ninjas guarding it as he patiently waits to be allowed in. Upon his arrival, the guards open the heavy doors, revealing the throne room beyond. A rich burgundy carpet leads to a throne raised upon a few steps. In the seat is Master, as stoic and ominous as always. To his left, Mistress Karai stands with her arms crossed over her armored chest. Her posture suggests that she's agitated, most likely with him.

Instantaneous oppression. That's all Kappa can feel as he pointedly keeps his gaze down and makes the unbearably long walk to kneel before his master. He executes the dogeza bow, showing complete submission as he's been taught. He can feel the intense and heated glare Karai is giving him and represses a smirk.

"Report," the deep voice commands.

Raising his head from the floor, Kappa briefly considers his response before saying, "The shipment was successfully secured by the Purple Dragons. There was interference from the enemies you mentioned, but it was dealt with efficiently." Waiting for a response to his reports was always one of the worst parts. Regardless of how a mission went, the anticipation of possible consequences from saying the wrong thing or having to deliver bad news was dreadful.

"Hm. Perhaps I should have brought you back to New York sooner," despite the calm in his voice, the sound of metal shifting makes Kappa's body stiffen, "This further proves my suspicions that Karai is not ready to handle such simple missions on her own." The disapproval in his tone is clear and Kappa can imagine the ire in his harsh features. A small "hmpf" is all the more Karai responds, knowing that arguing the point would be useless. Her glare, however, increases tenfold.

"You're dismissed," Master says with stern finality.

Bowing deeply once more, Kappa stands and starts walking towards the exit. His mind is racing, feeling as though he dodged something worse than a bullet… as though he dodged the searing burn of blades cutting through flesh as a reminder of what failure earns.

Even as the guards close the doors behind him, he can feel Karai's gaze, knowing that he will most likely undergo a confrontation later. Kappa doesn't allow himself to smile until he reaches the safety of his room, which always felt more like a cell. He did well and Karai's dissatisfaction is only further testimony to his success.

Finally alone, he begins removing his weapons and combat suit. Glancing at the clock reading 3:00 am in bright red, he feels tired, but knows his night is far from over. Setting his weapons down, he can't help thinking back to his earlier adversaries. They were mutant turtles. Setting aside his Kevlar vest and fitted jacket, he removes his undershirt. Kappa looks at the exposed, rough scar extending from just above the dip in his collar bone to where his bellybutton would be if he had one. 

They were mutant turtles that still had their shells.

Blurred memories of drugs and scalpels flood his thoughts. His shell was removed a long time ago supposedly for better flexibility and a more human appearance. Honestly though, it was probably just for Bishop's sick experimental satisfaction. He still remembers the pain... and the terrible reality that he had woken up to.

After what seems like hours of unwanted flashbacks, but was probably only minutes, the sound of the door being thrust open and swiftly shut jerks him back to reality. He'll never admit it, but sometimes Karai's intrusive nature is a blessing.

Composing himself, Kappa starts removing the rest of his clothing. "Yes Mistress?" he says mockingly, facing away with a smirk.

"Don't give me that shit," Karai snarls. She moves around him to sit on his futon, crossing her legs and staring daggers at him.

"You made me look weak. Father's threatening to send me away for extra training now." She crosses her arms and examines his bare room. He can tell she's still mad at him, but this is a well-performed routine by now.

Shrugging, he ties the belt of his nagajuban, "You know how this goes… if it were me I'd already be gone."

Karai sighs and examines her nails, "You poor fucking thing," she says with only a hint of her previous hostility.

Grinning coyly, she leans back on his futon, resting on her elbows, "So, what'd you think?"

Sitting beside her, he lays all the way back so that his upper half is on the futon while his left leg is propped up on his right, "I think it doesn't matter what I think." Karai scoffs at his answer, but doesn't reply, knowing he's right.

Instead, she lies back beside him and gets comfortable, "Yeah, it's probably best we just go along with plan to kill them and forget about it," she says nonchalantly. Turning to look at him, she adds, "But it's not like we've never been able to keep secrets for each other."

Her offer makes him smile. All things considered, he's glad to have Karai in his life. He doesn't even want to think about how depressing it'd be without his only friend.  
They lay on his futon for a while, just enjoying each other's company. Moments like this are rare and since they haven't been in the same country for years, haven't even seen each other for years; it makes it all the more special.

"Well," Karai says after a while, moving to get up and ending the peaceful moment, "I have training and can't exactly be late again… I'll see you around." She stands and stretches, then leaves, closing the door behind herself.

Sighing, Kappa gets up as well. He also has responsibilities.

He had been informed earlier in the day that his presence was requested. He was surprised to find more mutants at the headquarters when he returned to New York, but that surprise quickly turned into contempt. Before now, his training in seduction was completely useless; there were very few humans that wanted to sleep with a mutant turtle. Now, however, it seemed that it would become a part of his routine.

Moving to his dresser, he pulls out the black attire he's seldom worn. Emotionlessly, Kappa puts it on, adjusting it as needed. He moves to the standing mirror in the corner of his room and reties his headband so that a large bow is at the crown of his head with the long tails resting against his back. Apparently, the mutant males of the Foot prefer feminine details.

Making sure that he is presentable as he's been taught, he glances at the clock, seeing that it's just past 5:00 am. He sighs and not for the first time, curses his luck. He can't help but wonder if those other turtles have ever had to forfeit their bodies in such a way... then scoffs when he realizes they probably haven't. They've most likely been sheltered their whole lives, catered to, never had to fight for their existence. Resentment and something else makes its way into his chest, tightening it uncomfortably.

Choosing to ignore his thoughts and focus on his duties, Kappa leaves his room, heading for another he'd rather forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have an update schedule, but there should be a new chapter at least every week. Comments are much appreciated since they let me know if I'm moving the story in the right direction! (Btw, I know pretty much nothing about Japanese culture, so please correct me if I'm wrong about something).


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up, this has the possibility of turning into a long ass story. I’ve got a lot of ideas lined up and it’s all just taking a bit longer to progress than anticipated. Anyways, enjoy!

Thwump, whack, thwump, thwump, whack… the pattern of punching and kicking continues incessantly. Harsh breathing and occasional grunts from the increased effort accompany the solid hits. 

Raph steadily becomes more and more frustrated as he tries to take out his anger on the punching bag. It’s almost been a week since they had that fight with the other mutant, since they even saw the arrogant ass. They haven't exactly been actively searching for him, but they thought they’d have run into him again by now. That’s how it is with Shredder’s goons, they always show back up.

Mikey has been talking nonstop about how they could have some long lost brother or that the mutant is a clone of one of them. Donnie seems skeptical about the whole thing, but he’s been dying to get a DNA sample from the next encounter. The brothers had let Splinter know about the unfamiliar enemy, but since they don’t really have anything to go off of besides that brief encounter, they’ve been advised to take caution and be observant.

Landing another hard hit, Raph replays the fight with the mutant in his head and the image of smug smirk threatens to send him into a full on rage. Observant my ass, he thinks to himself, next time he sees that guy, he's gonna wipe the ground with him.

But as much as he hates to admit it, the guy was good… really good. He was able to defend against all three of them, making them look like total rookies. Sure Raph and his brothers aren’t the best ninjas in the world, but they can certainly hold their own in a fight especially when facing Shred-head's shitty minions. It didn’t help that he was ruthless like Karai. Actually, his fighting style was a lot like Karai’s, deadly and unforgiving, suggesting that the mutant was probably taught for years by the Foot. Maybe he was even raised by them.

Where the hell was Shredder hiding this asshole? They’ve been battling against the walking cheese-grater for quite a while now, two years to be exact. The small family thought they’d run into all of his lackies by now, but this new mutant, he came out of nowhere and with no warning. 

Landing a few more heated hits, Raph stops his assault, knowing all too well that going any further will cause the punching bag to fall off its hook and this thing is one rampage away from being obliterated. The series of patchwork fabric, tearing stitches, and visible stuffing are testament enough. 

He turns away, aggressively grabbing his water and taking a long swig. From the kitchen, he can hear off-key singing and meowing. He loves Mikey, he’s the best baby brother ever, but sometimes he’s just too much. This is one of those times. He's already in a bad mood and this certainly isn't helping.

Stalking into the main atrium, Raph can’t help but growl at the increasingly irritating singing. As he approaches the kitchen with a scowl marring his face, Mikey glances back at him, but quickly looks away and continues singing, most likely on purpose. He seems to be intently focused on creating what looks like a house of cards, but with waffles. Syrup, sprinkles, gummy bears, and all other kinds of colorful candies are strewn about the table. It’s an absolute mess and if Raph were more concerned about these kinds of things, he'd lecture Mikey and have clean it up. As it is though, he just exhales a sharp breath and shakes his head.

“Ya know, it’s a good thing we don’t have neighbors cause they’d think somethin’ was dying,” Raph huffs out, brushing past Mikey to look for food. 

“Hmpf!” Mikey exclaims indignantly, frowning at the sudden rudeness. A brief chorus of angry meows and a pointing ice cream paw lets Raph know he successfully insulted both. It's hardly satisfying in his current state though.

“Don’t listen to him Kitty,” Mikey says, “he’s just jealous of our obvious talent and beautiful friendship.” Mikey sticks out his tongue for emphasis and then he and Ice Cream Kitty resume constructing their house of waffles, deliberately ignoring Raph.

Deciding there’s nothing worth eating and tossing away his now empty water bottle, Raph leaves the kitchen. If he stays here, he's just gonna end up getting in a fight and as much as he loves fighting, he doesn't exactly enjoy it when his brothers are the targets. 

“I’m going out,” he declares as he passes through the empty atrium. He gets no answer, but he didn’t really expect one; Mikey and the ice cream cat are still singing, Donnie is in his lab, and Sensei is probably asleep by now, it is pretty late after all. Making sure he has his weapons and shell cell, he makes to exit the lair. Sometimes he wonders what it would be like to have someone argue with him about just walking out like this. Someone like a strict parent or an older brother. Would they ask those stereotypical questions of 'where are you going?' and 'what do you think you're doing?' or set curfews or refuse to let him go at all? Don't families usually have that? He knows Casey's father can be a controlling dickbag like that. Hopping over the turnstiles, he realizes he's grateful he doesn't have someone breathing down his neck, he couldn't imagine actually dealing with that. 

Raph walks down the tunnels he could run through with his eyes closed, taking the time to consider his surroundings as he passes structures outside the lair. To him this is home, but it hasn’t always been their home. He remembers how rough they lived before Splinter resorted to the sewers. Jumping from one abandoned apartment to another, living off dumpster food, having to keep quiet in the days, it was a lot for three mutant kids and their mutant father. Finding the lair had brought instant security and stability to their small family. 

Sure April and Casey tolerate the smells, unfamiliar noises, and confusing passages of the sewers, but they don’t appreciate it all like Raph does; they always seem to be concealing a desire to leave, to get back to their relatively clean and pleasant homes. Of course some high rise apartment or even just a little suburban home would be amazing, but the brothers can’t have that. They rely on the ready supplies of the city and its many shadows and crevices too much. Besides, Raph doesn’t know that he’d be able to leave the sewers now anyways. The city is nice, but this down here will always be home.

Finally, Raph comes across the manhole he was heading towards. Climbing up the ladder, he carefully lifts the cover, ensuring that no one is around. He exits and quietly lowers the metal cover so that it hardly makes a sound. Raph inhales deeply and briefly takes in all of the sounds of the city: the distant voices, cars beeping at one another, dogs barking. Being above ground on his own provides an independence that Raph yearns for. He’d do absolutely anything for his family, but sometimes he just needs to be alone and tonight is one of those times. He can already feel that awful mood he was in earlier melting away.

Grinning, he makes his way to the nearest rooftop. Once his feet land on solid asphalt, he gazes briefly at the cityscape before taking off. He figures a night run could help him cool down further and if he comes across some immoral thug that needs an ass-whoopin, he won’t complain.

Several minutes of running later, Raph stops at the edge of a roof so that he can catch his breath and look over his surroundings. He’s just about to continue on when he sees movement from the corner of his eye. 

Carefully, he lowers himself and slides his sai from their place on his belt. In the near distance, he sees a person dressed in black that’s moving across the buildings not unlike how Raph and his brothers do. However, the figure must not have noticed him yet because they are still running between buildings. 

Deciding someone dressed in black that moves like a ninja is worth investigating, Raph starts to follow. Keeping an appropriate distance from the figure, Raph realizes that they aren’t just any old Foot ninja. This is Shredder’s new mutant. Raph decides to leave a little more space and to take extra caution to not be seen, he is on his own after all and if he plays his cards right, the idiot may lead him somewhere important.

It was probably just a matter of time before the mutant realized he was being followed, but Raph had been hoping for some useful reconnaissance. Somehow, the mutant disappears from sight, causing Raph to curse his luck and glance around cautiously.

He senses more than sees the throwing stars that come soaring past his face. Narrowly dodging them, Raph crouches down into his fighting position, sai at the ready and waiting for the enemy to show himself. The mutant charges from his right, katana ready to slice deep. Raph parries, forcing the blades up and away, moving in for his own attack.

There are a few times Raph gets close to actually cutting the enemy, but each chance is quickly lost by the formidable skill of his adversary. 

“Hold still!” he growls out, swiping his sai at the mutant. This elicits a cold smirk from the other and Raph can feel that familiar anger creeping back up again. 

“You can’t really expect this to be that easy,” the Foot goon says. 

So he can talk, Raph thinks sarcastically, stabbing forward and missing again.

“Or are you just that stupid,” the mutant adds sneering while sweeping low with one blade.

Snarling, Raph yells as he defends and then doubles his effort. He doesn’t know why, but this guy is really starting to get on his nerves. Maybe it’s the fact that he keeps evading Raph’s attacks, maybe it’s the derisive comment, or maybe it’s the arrogant, mocking expression on his face, but he's definitely messing with the wrong turtle tonight. 

The enemy mutant adjusts to Raph's added effort with ease, although a little more focused now. Their weapons clash and they fall into a kind of rhythm, neither really gaining the upper hand. If Raph were fighting anyone else and wasn't in mortal danger, he may take the time to appreciate how good of a fight this is shaping up to be.

Raph dodges around a quick jab of the katana, getting in closer so that the long-range weapons are less dangerous. Using the close space to his advantage, Raph punches with his right fist grasped around the hilt of his sai for added stability and force. The enemy’s head snaps back and both move to put distance between themselves.

Grinning, Raph points at his snout, “Ya got a little somethin’ here,” he taunts.

The other mutant wipes the trail of blood that had started making its way down his face, taking a moment to glance at the red streak on the back of his hand. Looking up, his eyes harden to reveal an underlying, seething rage. In this moment, Raph sees a reflection of his own anger, however, where Raph’s is a blazing explosion, this mutant seems to be more of a daunting hostility. 

“You’re going to regret that,” the mutant says lowly.

Raph just smirks in reply, twirling his sai.

Time to get that DNA sample Don’s been wanting, he thinks to himself, smirk growing even wider.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really struggled with getting this chapter out. Comments and such are greatly appreciated! Let me know what you think, what could be added, what you predict, all that good stuff.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh a heated battle… how are they going to get out of this without killing each other?????

He hasn’t been this infuriated in a while… He’s better than this, much better, this is just embarrassing. He shouldn’t have let that hit land, Raphael shouldn’t have even gotten that close to him, but here he is, wiping blood from his snout.

He was extensively briefed on the three turtles and their rat father all week, studying their tactics, fighting styles, skills, learning everything he possibly could about them so that he’d be ready to kill them when the chance came. Well, here’s a chance to eliminate one of the bigger threats of the Hamato Clan and he’s wasting it.

In his defense, he hadn’t expected to run into the other ninja tonight. He was supposed to be making a routine check-in with one of the gang leaders tonight to ensure that everything is moving along according to Master’s plan. Then Raphael started following him. He won’t admit it, but it took longer than it should have for him to notice his pursuer.

Now, Kappa decides it’s time to get serious. No more games, no more going easy on his opponent, he has a mission to complete. No matter how mundane the assignment is, failure won’t be tolerated, especially not if Master finds out why. Failing to complete the check-in and failing to kill Raphael in one night may just be the end of him, or worse, lead to a ‘checkup’ with Bishop to make sure ‘everything is in working order.’

Repositioning his katana, Kappa sprints forward to attack with formidable precision and strength. He has to be careful though, with enough force those sai could pierce his Kevlar and without the advantage of a shell, it could easily be a fatal injury.

Raphael seems to have picked up on Kappa’s increased intensity, he positions his sai to defend again and upon steel on steel contact, the fight becomes much more fierce. Blows are continuously blocked by both ninjas, the sound of colliding weapons ringing above the noise of the city below. 

Advancing aggressively, Kappa leaves a shallow cut on Raphael’s bicep. Raphael hisses at the stinging pain and starts shifting into a more protective position.

Good, Kappa thinks to himself, slicing Raphael again. He’s starting to gain the upper hand, and with each deepening cut, this becomes more and more apparent. He doesn’t allow himself to get careless, concentrating detachedly on his target as he’s been trained.

Raphael, too focused on dodging and blocking the blades, trips as he steps back. His eyes widen minutely as he falls, realizing his mistake.

Kappa takes the opportunity. He doesn’t miss a beat, moving forward and hoping to spear Raphael's neck to the asphalt. His blade never makes contact…

It seems as though Kappa was so focused on his objective that Karai managed to interfere and get the upper hand. Thrusting upwards with her tanto, she diverts Kappa’s katana. 

In the seconds it takes Kappa to recover from the confusion of what just happened, she coyly says, “You didn’t honestly think I’d let you have all the fun did you?” with eyes glinting mischievously.

Frustration makes its way into his voice, “What the hell are you doing Karai?” He loves her like a sister, like the only friend he’s ever had because that's exactly what she is, but sometimes… he hates her.

“None of your buisness," she starts, placing her hands on her hips, "You’re not supposed to be here anyways Kappa, you have a meeting with Hun,” she says with an underlying iciness to her tone, indicating that this argument is pointless. Her words aren't a suggestion, they're orders, “And you’re running late.”

Kappa doesn't understand why she interfered, why she’s even here since she had been on recruit duty this evening, but it isn't his place to challenge her authority here. While trying to piece together something to explain her actions, a terrifying thought begins to blossom in the back of his mind. She’s been in New York a lot longer than him and has had many encounters with the turtles and their allies. She's had plenty of time to form connections with them. 

Meanwhile, Raphael has taken the chance to regain his balance, panting and similarly confused by the sudden banter. He observes the conversation quietly from a distance so that he may defend if needed.

“Leave,” she says with finality, eyes narrowing and daring him to protest. He wants to say no, he wants to question her loyalties, and he wants to finish this fight, but he can’t, not right now. She’s the Young Mistress of the Foot Clan and although they have a good relationship, he has to respect her, he has to follow her orders. To disobey would be treason.

Without another word, Kappa leaves, but not without shooting another glare to Raphael. He’ll have to discuss this later with Karai.

ooo

The mission went without a hitch, as expected. The Purple Dragons are operating efficiently and even though he was late to the meeting, he was able to wrap it up quickly and make it back before anyone could get suspicious. He makes the familiar, intimidating walk to give his report and then immediately returns to his room.

He’s lucky tonight, it’s one of those rare nights where he has no further obligations. He actually has time to rest, but he can't. He's too caught up in thinking about what happened earlier. Karai defended the enemy. No matter how he tries to reevaluate what happened, that’s the only conclusion he can come to.

Of course, she wasn’t blatant about it. She did it covertly so that any outsiders would believe she was simply sending Kappa to finish his mission while she took out the other ninja. It would make more sense. Karai is more skilled and knowledgeable about the turtle mutants than he is. But that’s not what this was. No, he knows Karai too well. She’s clever in her tactics, but he saw through it, he knows what was really happening.

He needs to talk to her about it.

Getting out of bed, he exits his room and heads to Karai’s. As simple as this sounds, it’s really not. He’s not allowed in this wing of the building and to be caught near or in Karai’s room would lead to agonizing punishment, he knows this from when they were children. He doesn’t have the same liberties as the other Foot members, he doesn’t have access to the majority of the building amongst many other restrictions. 

When he reaches her door, he notices the light is off, which is generally a good sign, the last thing he needs is some maid getting in the way. Carefully, he enters Karai’s room and quietly closes the door. She isn’t here, but it’s late, or maybe the correct term is extremely early in the morning, so he knows she’ll be back here before too long.

He walks further into the room, sitting on the edge of the full-sized bed positioned by the only window in the room. He takes in his surroundings in the moonlit room. He hasn’t been here since before Japan. Things have changed a lot. This room belongs to a young adult, there are no sakura print bed sheets, or cat stuffies, or any other indicators of a child being here.

Nostalgia is something he tries to avoid, but he can’t help replaying the nights they stayed up telling scary stories under the covers with a flashlight for added scary effects, or the nights they tried to count all of the stars, or the nights they cried and comforted each other. To think that same Karai may now be a traitor is terrifying. It doesn’t mean exile, it means death, long and painful.

Not only that, but he can’t understand why she would disobey Master in the first place. Yes, he’s an awful human being, even Kappa can admit that, but he’s her father. He raised her from infancy, gave her everything she could ever want, and taught her how to be a strong ninja. Of course there's a lot of bad Kappa can’t exactly ignore. The beatings Karai suffered, the demeaning comments, the fear that has been instilled in her since childhood. All of those and more could push anyone out, but Karai isn't just anyone. She's so much stronger than that.

So why would she risk everything she has, why would she risk her life for nothing? Those other mutants are nothing compared to Karai. They don’t deserve her loyalty, she’s too superior to them. 

His thoughts are cut off abruptly when Karai comes storming in. She slams the door and instantly halts, sensing that someone’s in her room. Turning on the light, she snorts derisively, “You’re just going to sit in my room in the dark? People will get the wrong impression.”

She walks over to her dresser and begins removing her armor. He can tell she’s upset about something, or maybe she’s simply acting hostile because she knows why he’s here and wants to deter him from asking questions. It’s not going to happen though, he needs to discuss this with her.

He huffs in responds, ignoring her lewd comment and looking over the room again now that it’s bathed in a soft white light. 

A moment of tense silence passes between them, it’s obvious that Karai will not be initiating any conversation. So, he decides to break the ice, “What was that all about Karai,” he states more than asks.

“What do you mean?” she says, putting on her night gown. 

Now it’s his turn to be frustrated, “You know what I mean.”

She turns to look at him and says, “I told you, it’s none of your business,” moving towards the bed, she pulls back the covers and sits on the bed, “Now leave.”

“If you’re siding with the enemy-,” he starts but doesn’t get to finish due to Karai shoving him aggressively.

“Shut the fuck up already before I make you,” she pulls her covers up to her midsection, staring daggers at him. “Now get the fuck out,” she says threateningly, pointing a finger at the door.

He doesn’t argue, but he doesn’t leave either, choosing to stand instead. He needs answers. “This is serious.” He just can’t understand it and he can't let her shut him out. 

Why? Why would she do this?

“You're my family Karai,” he says, expression desperate now, “but I need to know where your allegiances lie.”

Karai sneers in response, “Why do you keep pestering about it? It's none of your business and it doesn’t matter what I tell you anyways. Father would never take the word of an animal over his own daughter.” She turns away from him sharply and lays down, pulling the covers up high and signaling that this conversation is officially dead.

It isn’t like he’s never heard those words before, but it hurts, especially coming from her. 

Deciding to not burn any more bridges, he does leave this time. He successfully makes it back to his own room, sliding under the covers and repeating their conversation in his head. He knows she’s right, even if she were a traitor, stating so to Master would only lead to punishment because how dare he accuse the Young Mistress of such a heinous act? No, this is something he’ll have to figure out himself.

Maybe he can gain information straight from the turtles. If he could carefully interrogate one of them without them knowing, he could learn more not only about Karai’s relationship with the Hamato Clan, but he could also learn more about his enemies in general. Maybe he could even gain their trust and become the proverbial Trojan horse. It may be stupid, but it may also provide him with a few different opportunities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments are much appreciated, they let me know people actually like what I’m posting. Also, in case any of you have difficulty understanding why Leo can’t wrap his mind around Karai’s decision, it goes against everything he’s been strictly taught. He respects and fears the Shredder deeply, and when someone’s been manipulated so severely, they have a hard time thinking that anything else, any other way of life, is possible.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah this is definitely going to be a long story, so strap in and enjoy… it’s quite a bumpy ride.

Raph finally makes it home. Thankfully, he had re-stocked his emergency supplies and had plenty of bandages to wrap the worst of his cuts. 

This definitely wasn’t the night he had planned, but he did gain some useful information by listening in to the argument between Karai and the mutant. Like that the other mutant’s name is Kappa...

What a fucking name, he thinks to himself.

If the name is anything to go off of, then Kappa is a turtle mutant, which is weird as hell because where is his shell? He also learned that the Foot are definitely planning something with Hun that they need to check into. Any meetings between the Foot and the Purple Dragons is bad news. Karai had done him a solid stepping in earlier, even though he really doesn't know why she did in the first place. They aren't exactly bff's. To be honest, the whole thing had been odd. Even Raph could tell something was off about the encounter.

Learning a few things about the Foot wasn't the only thing that was worth Raph getting sliced to bits though, looking down at his right hand and sai, he sees blood that isn’t his. He was only able to land that one hit, but this should be enough for Donnie to find out exactly what this Kappa guy is made of.

He makes his way over the turnstiles and by the quiet of the lair, assumes that everyone is asleep. The only clue that one brother in particular is still awake is the low hum of equipment and the sliver of light emitting from under the lab door.

Raph crosses the atrium and opens the door. Raph is met with the messy lab that Don insists is organized and the turtle in question's shell. He’s hunched over his desk, soldering some project with his handheld torch. Little sparks fly off the open flame and the metal piece on the table glows a bright orange-red where it's being heated.

“Hey Don,” Raph says over the sound of the torch, hoping to get his brother's attention. Donnie can be difficult to reach if he's too far gone in a project.

“Hmm?” Don responds absently, although still focusing on his work.

Raph sighs and decides to move so that he’s beside Donnie, “I got that sample you’ve been lookin’ for,” he says grinning and placing a hand on Donnie's shoulder.

Now, Donnie shuts off the torch and sets it aside before lifting his welding mask and looking at Raph. After a few seconds, he gasps as he takes in the multiple cuts and bruises.

“Raph! What the shell happened?!” he says, frantically standing to get the first aid kit.

Meanwhile, Raph goes to sit on the ‘hospital’ bed that’s really just a twin-sized bedframe with a yoga mat and some sheets on it. It isn't the most comfortable thing in the world, but hospitals aren’t exactly throwing the real deal away.

Donnie comes over to Raph with their limited medical supplies. He pulls out Tylenol, bandaids, some gauze bandages for the longer and deeper lacerations, alcohol wipes, and antibiotics.

Knowing just how long it took them to gather all of these supplies and how scarce they can be, Raph says, “Don’t bother with the smaller ones, they’ll heal fine on their own.”

Donnie just scoffs at him, applying the wipes and removing the already blood-soaked wraps Raph had managed to apply before securing new bandages, “We have this stuff for occasions exactly like this Raph, they’re meant to be used,” moving to another cut, he adds, “plus we live in a sewer and pretty much all of our belongings came from dumpsters and junkyards, these can't be ignored.”

Raph rolls his eyes, but decides not to argue. As Donnie moves to grab his hand, he pulls it back quickly, “Wait,” he says and upon receiving quite an annoyed look from Don, continues, “This ain’t my blood, it’s from that mutant.”

Donnie looks at Raph’s hand again briefly, making sure that it is, indeed, not Raph’s blood. Seeing no lacerations on his knuckles, only dark bruises below the dried blood, Donnie nods and goes to grab his DNA kit.

“Good job,” Donnie says distractedly while swabbing the back of Raph’s hand, “looks like he got the better of you though,” he grins teasingly.

Raph scowls at him, “Least I got a hit in,” he retaliates.

Placing the swab in a test tube and sealing it with a plastic lid, Don responds mischievously, “Yeah I did too. Actually, I got the very first hit.”

Raph quietly simmers as Donnie continues addressing his wounds, he’s really starting to test Raph’s patience.

“I found out his name,” he says to change the topic.

“Oh? What is it? Agent 47? Julio Santana? Ghost of the Concrete Jungle-” he rambles.

“Kappa,” Raph says to stop Don's nonsense.

At this, Donnie gives Raph a skeptical look, “Kappa?” Finishing applying the last bandaid he says, “As in the Japanese turtle yokai?” 

“Yep,” Raph replies, “but I don’t get it cause he doesn’t exactly have the obvious features,” he emphasizes by pointing to his shell.

“Hmm…,” Don hums while placing his chin between his thumb and forefinger, “I mean, maybe there was a second mutation? Or maybe it’s a deformity?” turning to his desk with the sample he says, “Either way, we’ll find out once I get a look at this.”

Recognizing that Don is eager to start working again, Raph stands, “Let me know what ya find out, I’m goin’ to bed.” Don just hums in response, sitting at his desk and shutting out the world.

Raph heads to his room, laying back on his bed with a grimace, he won’t be able to sleep in his hammock tonight. 

Hope that was worth it, he thinks as he tries to get comfortable.  
ooo  
Raph wakes up sore and many of the bandages are stained a reddish brown. Sighing, he sits up slowly and rubs his eyes. Deciding food may help him feel better, or at least distract him from how uncomfortable he is, he makes his way to the kitchen.

Since he’s injured, which he still has to explain to Splinter, he’ll just have some light training and stretching today. It’s a small reprieve, but at least it’s something.  
He pours his milk and cereal in a bowl and begins eating. He enjoys the silence, the sound of water dripping from pipes, the hum of traffic above, the occasional rumbling from the trains, he’s really needed a break from everythi-, “RAPH!!!” Mikey screams as he runs into the kitchen, arms flailing.

Raph almost chokes on his cereal as he drops his spoon and spits chewed bits, worriedly saying, “What? What happened?” He gets up and briefly looks over Mikey, then starts searching for Donnie. 

“Wait! Wait, everything’s fine, hold on bro!” Mikey shouts, following after Raph who stops and looks back at him. Mike has one of the biggest smiles Raph thinks he’s ever seen on his little brother’s face. Realizing that Mikey’s sudden outburst was out of elation and not fear, Raph gives Mikey an irritable scowl. 

Feeling anger start to build up as a result of his own fear, he tries to push the unwanted emotion down. He hates being scared, it always makes him mad. Sometimes he can control his reactions, sometimes he can’t, either way his brothers, and Casey especially, learned quickly not to startle him.

Mikey’s hands are in fists held up close to his body, which is shaking with eagerness. His smile is so big now it’s quickly approaching creepy, he is the epitome of ‘overflowing with joy’ right now. Sighing, Raph motions with his hand for Mikey to go ahead so that he doesn’t have to speak and accidently, or intentionally, say something rude.

“We have another brother!!” Mikey blurts out and Raph thinks he’s finally lost it.

“What the shell are you talkin’ about Mike?” Raph asks skeptically, crossing his arms across his plastron.

“Come on!” he says grabbing Raph’s arm, “Donnie’s way better at explaining science stuff.”

They make their way to the lab, Mikey blabbing the whole way about how they’re going to have slumber parties, movie and game nights, and how he hopes their new ‘brother’ loves action figures as much as he does. 

Donnie’s still at his desk when they enter the lab, right where Raph left him last night, and judging by the empty coffee mugs and bags under Don’s eyes, this is probably where he stayed all night... again.

“Alright,” Raph says yanking his arm from Mikey, “what’s up with weirdo here saying we got another brother?”

“Well,” Don starts, “there’s no doubt that Kappa is the same hybrid-mutant species as us. His DNA profile is very similar to ours, of course a blood sample can’t tell us everything about him, but it is safe to say that there are four of us.” Donnie looks pleased with himself, then turns his gaze to Raph, who is standing with his arms crossed and frowning.

“So what, is he a clone or somethin’?” Raph asks with growing displeasure.

“No, he’s definitely not a clone. Clones are physical genetic copies of one another, think of identical twins, he would have to look exactly like one of us, which he obviously doesn’t. However, based on looks and fitness alone, I’d bet he’s about the same age as us.” Donnie finishes, smiling slightly.

Behind Raph, Mikey is bouncing on the balls of his feet, “So he’s our brother, right?”

“Wellllll……” Donnie starts, “none of us are really related remember, so no, technically he isn’t our brother, however…” halting and seeming to consider what he says, Raph grows more and more impatient, “’However’ what?” Raph growls hoping to get a clear answer.

“However… all evidence supports the theory that he was mutated with us. So, in a way, Mikey’s right. He is our brother, by mutation anyways,” Don concludes.  
Mikey whoops and throws his hands up, starting to talk about all the cool things they can learn and do with their ‘new brother.’

Raph, however, is not pleased at all.

“He ain’t our brother.” Raph says angrily, effectively causing Mikey to halt in his celebrating.

“But-,” Mikey starts.

“He ain’t our fucking brother Mike,” Raph cuts him off immediately, this is important, this is something they can’t be indecisive about, “he tried to kill me, he almost killed you. He’s with the Foot Mikey, there’s no fucking way that asshole is ever going to be family and that’s final,” Raph states, leaving no room for argument. 

A tense silence begins to stifle the lab. Raph knows that Mikey isn’t happy to hear this, Don probably isn’t either, but this is so much more than playing house with a new brother, this is keeping a dangerous enemy away from their home, from their family, and his brothers are just going to have to accept that.

“Raph’s right Mikey,” Donnie says breaking the silence, “Kappa might be like us physically, but he’s nowhere near us mentally. We have completely different ideals and motivations. Sorry, but I’m with Raph on this one.”

Mikey pouts, tears forming in his eyes, but doesn’t argue. Instead, he leaves the lab and heads for the kitchen, probably to seek consolation from Ice Cream Kitty.  
Raph nods to Donnie, glad that at least one brother has some sense, and heads to the dojo. Practice starts in a few minutes and he still needs to discuss his injuries with Sensei. 

Hearing hushed sobbing and meowing, Raph knows he really upset Mikey. He hates doing that to Mike, absolutely hates having to lecture his brothers like that at all, but he knows Mikey will get over it and that this is the right choice. He knows he’s protecting his family.

Another brother… Raph huffs and shakes his head, what a ridiculous thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, leave a comment, just do it... Or not, we don’t pressure here. Anyways, this chapter was soooooo much more difficult to write than the last one. Also, for you Mikey and Donnie fans out there, I do plan on writing from each of their POVs in the near future.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just want to say that you’re reviews/comments make me soooooooo happy! I love seeing that you guys are enjoying what I’m writing and it makes me want to write even more. Anyways, enough of that, here’s your regularly scheduled update:

Kappa wakes after a long night sore in all the wrong places… places a teenager shouldn’t be sore in, at least not consensually. Trying to steer his mind away from images of the previous night and all the nights before, he stands from his futon, making sure to fold his sheets and set them upon his pillow. Kappa dresses in his training uniform, a light and flexible two-piece fitted outfit.

He suppresses the grimace that wants to appear as he stretches to pull the top on. His back has been hurting right between his shoulder blades recently, not that it’s anything new but it’s certainly uncomfortable.

He supposes that he’ll eventually have to visit Dr. Stockman for an assessment and if things aren’t good, then he’ll have to go to Bishop… hopefully he doesn’t need another surgery, those are… awful. So he’ll ignore it for as long he can, until the pain becomes too much or until he has trouble moving, either way he’ll ignore it until he can’t.

With his uniform on and headband tied tight, Kappa makes his way to the dojo. He doesn’t make eye contact with anyone he passes, focusing on what’s in front of him instead. Eye contact is prohibited between Foot ninja and their superiors, unless explicitly requested, but he especially is expected to keep his gaze averted due to his low position within the clan. 

It doesn’t matter that he’s one of the most highly skilled members of the Foot, he’s a mutated animal. Among the clan, that’s all Kappa is, an animal. One that is trained well, sure, but he is just as expendable as any other weapon, Master has made that very clear throughout his life.

He’s had to prove that his existence is worthwhile ever since he was surrendered to the clan at the age of four. Blurred, scattered memories of a small dog cage, of being hungry and crying, blossom in his mind. He doesn’t remember much of what happened before, he doesn’t even remember what the woman who ‘cared’ for him looked like, but he does remember the fear, the pain and the unbearable loneliness…

He owes his life to Master. The Foot Clan gave him purpose, gave him a place to call home, and gave him his only friend. Without the clan, he would have died a long time ago. No matter how bad things may seem, he’s alive and he owes everything he is to Master and the clan.

Steering his thoughts away from the past and back to his original train of thought, he reflects on how, not only is he a mutant, but of course he’s a mutant turtle. The other mutants within the Foot are different, they’re equipped with claws and fangs and incredible, natural instincts, they’re useful to Master in a way Kappa isn’t. A turtle… what is it good for? 

Approaching the dojo doors, Kappa sighs and tries to clear his head. The constant flashbacks and spiraling thoughts are frustrating and they always leave him feeling things he’d rather not, but no matter how hard he tries to ignore them, they always find a way to sneak in. 

Straightening up, he enters the dojo and almost freezes. It takes a lot of willpower to force himself to continue walking, the urge to turn and walk out of the room is overpowering, but he can’t leave, that’s never been an option for him. But why did his instructor today have to be Tiger Claw, the one who… 

“Nice of you to finally join us,” he drawls arrogantly. He’s sitting by the far wall, polishing his gun. There are a few new recruits standing around anxiously, they’re mostly young and doe-eyed, but a few seem to have a hardness about them that screams ‘experienced.’ Those are the ones Kappa has to watch out for, the ones he has to discourage immediately. He’s been ambushed by plenty of recruits trying to prove themselves to know that displaying his capability now is best.

He walks to the center of the dojo and bows in Tiger Claws direction, “My apologies Sensei,” he responds, trying not to allow the contempt to show through his voice.

A moment passes before Tiger Claw responds, “Hm, perhaps you can make it up later,” vaguely implying something that makes Kappa’s skin crawl. 

He doesn’t fully understand why the mutants within the clan are so infatuated with him, perhaps it’s because he’s also a mutant, or perhaps it’s just because they can. It’s known that Kappa takes pride in his ninja expertise, especially now that he’s back from his intense training in Japan. This seems to make him a target, but this is nothing new, he’s always been a target. Kappa is stronger and more resilient than any of them realize.

Tiger Claw stands, causing the recruits to straighten and stand at attention. Kappa also straightens up, but keeps his gaze downcast. At least he can take out any pent up frustration on these recruits, the poor souls. 

ooo

Training went about how Kappa expected. He was tested, both physically and mentally by the recruits, however, his patience did not wear thin and he barely tired. About half of the recruits passed their first test, the other half were executed. Luckily, Kappa’s uniform prevented the blood from soaking in; he’ll still have to wash it later though. 

He doesn’t remember the walk back his bedroom. These kinds of things always seem to shut his mind down, regardless of how many times he's lived through them. Numbly, he begins changing into his battle uniform. He pulls off the training uniform, his body singing in dull pain as his arms come above his head. His back is throbbing, but he can’t pay attention to that right now, in fact, it’s the last thing on his mind. 

Glancing at his alarm clock, he sees that it’s half past noon. He has a quick mission to complete. Apparently some CEO has been disagreeing with Master and needs to be ‘taken care of.’ Why do people allow their arrogance to cloud their judgement? Master can’t be opposed, too many ignorant big shots learn that the hard way.

Sighing, Kappa starts redressing. He understands why Master assassinates his enemies, he can even understand why new recruits that don’t pass their first test are executed, but that doesn’t mean he likes when he’s the one to carry it out. He still has nightmares about the ones who impacted him with their bravery or innocence. Some of those people, they didn’t need to die, they didn’t deserve that.

He has a lot of blood on his hands and he hasn’t really found a way to live with that yet. So, like many other aspects of his life, he tries to ignore it as best as he can. If he didn’t, if he let all of those haunting memories consume him, he’d break down completely. The act alone is difficult enough as it is, he doesn’t need to wallow in what is already done.

As he makes his way to the roof of the headquarters, his thoughts drift to the other turtle mutants. He wonders if they’ve ever killed someone. He can’t say for sure, there were no deaths reported during his briefing, but that doesn’t mean the Hamato clan has no blood on their hands. Taking a life is surprisingly easy to cover up.  
He still has to devise a way to interrogate one of the turtles. It would be best if he spoke with only one of them, if all three were present, he’d probably have a harder time getting anything out of them. 

He hasn’t spoken to Karai since their argument a few days ago, she’s been making it a point to completely ignore him and glare from a distance if they happen to be in the same room. Cornering one of the Hamato’s is going to be imperative to gain any information on Karai as well, she’s made it quite obvious that she isn’t going to explain anything to him. 

Honestly, Kappa doesn’t really know what he would do if he learns that Karai is a traitor. He can’t tell Master about it, partly because he wouldn’t believe him anyways and partly because he really just couldn’t do that to Karai. She’s always been there for him, in her own way. 

Gliding across rooftops, Kappa focuses on his mission, briefly wondering what kind of woman the CEO really is, if she has a family or someone else waiting for her to get home. Pushing forward, he decides not to think about it. What’s one more body laying in the long line behind him?

ooo

As expected, the mission went smoothly, the target was disposed of. 

The sun is just starting to get low and the sky is becoming less brilliant. No stars are visible yet, but it’s clear that within a few hours, they’ll light up the sky once more. The city is still as noisy as ever and the air is nothing compared to the freshness of the Japanese countryside, but it’s home and he’s missed it.

Kappa takes his time heading back to headquarters. He doesn’t have any other obligations for the evening so he tries to enjoy being back in New York for what little bit of time he can. The Foot Clan is strict about members being out without explicit reason. 

But he does have reason, he’s currently taking one of the routes the turtles have been spotted patrolling most. Killing two birds with one stone as the saying goes.  
Yes, this may not be the most efficient way of finding the turtles, more likely than not all three will be out if he does run into them, but they haven't been seen in almost two weeks and there’s no real information on where they live or where they tend to visit. For all their faults, they’re surprisingly good at covering their tracks. So this is the next best thing, taking known routes back to headquarters and hoping he sees one of them.

His trip home seems to be dragging on with nothing particularly interesting happening, sure he’s missed the city and would love to sit out all night just soaking it all in, but he’s tired. He has another long day ahead of him and he can’t afford to stay up for nothing. So, deciding he’s dragged his feet long enough, he picks up the pace and starts on a more direct route home.

All in all, the day was planned and executed as expected, with ease. Everything fell into place as it tends to. What was not expected, however, was the feeling of another presence. Two other presences to be exact.

Kappa ducks behind a utility closet. Looking across the rooftop, he sees two figures sitting on the edge of a parapet talking animatedly. One is clearly human, but the other isn’t. To be honest, he had given up on trying to find the turtles, but fate seems to have other things in mind and this... this is his chance. 

True to form, his luck is quite unreliable though. Of all the turtles to find it just had to be this one… Raphael. The one he recently fought and that’s going to be the most difficult. Oh well, might as well get it over with.

Sighing, Kappa steps out from behind his hiding place. He doesn’t want to alert the two, and he also doesn’t want to come across as hostile. He needs to gain information, and if things do turn south, then killing the both of them shouldn’t be too hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was… all over the place, but we’re getting there, we’re movin’ along. Also, I imagine that it’s easier for Leo to try to justify his relationships and position within the Foot than to question them. I think that if his mind was as badly manipulated as it has been, he’d be extremely loyal to the Foot. So that’s why he tries his best not to acknowledge the things done to him and the immoral acts he commits on behalf of Shredder.  
> Also, have you noticed something? These chapters keep getting longer... I’ll let you decide if that’s a good thing or not.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you may have noticed that Raph seems a bit more mature and calm in this fic. As the ‘eldest,’ I imagine Raph would have had to carry the responsibility of his brothers. Taking cues from the 2018 ‘verse, I believe these kinds of mannerisms are fitting here. Also, I sorry if ya'll got whiplash from Leo being like "I'm gonna kill them" to "I gotta get info and not kill them," but it's an important plot point.

Raph was having a pretty good night. Nothing particularly exciting happened today, but that doesn’t mean something interesting won’t happen. The lair had been rather quiet considering Splinter was absorbed in one of his soap operas, Mikey was out having a sleepover with the Mutanimals and Donnie was, well, being Donnie, living in his lab as per usual. 

Now, he’s enjoying the company of one of his only friends that doesn’t happen to also be a member of his family. Sure, Casey Jones can be a bit of a handful and sometimes they clash more than they get along, but that’s just how they are. No matter how much they argue, they’d both risk their lives for each other without hesitation. Somewhere along the way, that mutual understanding formed.

So here they are, cracking jokes and sharing stories on the roof of an evicted apartment building because neither really wants to be home right now. The sun is getting lower and lower and the sky has become a deeper blue. These kinds of nights are for making memories. It’s the kind of night that reminds him of the countless other times he and Casey sat upon a roof and watched the sunset and moonrise while sharing humorous tales.

“So you’re a fuckin’ chicken then,” Raph states with a smirk, knowing this is sure to rile his friend up.

“No,” Casey starts indignantly, pointing at his chest, “Casey Jones is no chicken, I just didn’t want to get beaten up by the entire girl’s soccer team.” 

Raph lets out a short chuckle and rolls his eyes, “Yeah, cause gettin’ beat up by a bunch a’ girls in towels is so bad.”

Casey huffs and hits Raph’s arm, careful to avoid the bandages still wrapped around them, “Hey man, there’s like 50 of em’ and they aren’t just any girls, they’re soccer girls. That means they’re like, super strong and shit. Bet they could kick your ass,” he adds smirking, hoping to insult the turtle, but Raph isn’t paying attention anymore.

“Hey, are you even-,” Casey starts, but Raph subtly lifts a finger, signaling that Casey should probably hold off for a moment.

He can feel that someone’s there and only gets a second to think about it before he hears the sound of feet scuffing across asphalt. Both turn to see the last person they expected. Well, maybe person isn’t the right description, but ya know.

“Wait, isn’t that the guy who-,” Casey starts, standing and pointing at the intruder.

“Yeah,” Raph says, cutting him off again, “That’s the asshole that tried ta kill me the other night.” He stands and rests his hands on his weapons, Casey follows, grabbing for his hockey stick.

A moment passes between the two parties, each considering the other before Kappa puts his hands up slightly in a placating gesture and begins slowly walking forward, “I’m not here to fight,” he says, but Raph can’t really believe that now can he? For one, the mutant came here fully dressed in battle gear.

He scoffs, “Yeah, sure,” he removes his sai from his belt, twirling them. “Let’s just get this over with so I can get back ta having a good night,” he finishes, adopting a defensive position.

Casey steps forward, too brave for his own good, the knuckle head, “That’s close enough pal,” he says. He raises his stick, ready to fight if need be, the brothers had let him and April in on the whole situation so Casey knows this guy is bad news.

Kappa stops in his approach, lowering his hands. It seems as though the other is disappointed in such a reaction. Raph doesn’t let up his guard though, he’s seen this movie too many times to fall for any tricks. 

“I’m really not here to fight you guys, I just want to talk,” Kappa says, his tone low and calm, implying that he's telling the truth. 

Casey just snorts and moves to rest his hockey stick on his shoulder. Pointing, he exclaims, “Yeah, like we’re gonna fall for that frog dude. You got another thing comin’ if you think Casey Jones is that gullible.”

At Casey’s exclamation of ‘frog dude’ Kappa’s face transitions to one of extreme annoyance. Eyes sliding over to Raph he says, “Are all of your friends so dimwitted?” and Raph really can’t argue the point, because yeah, ‘frog dude’ definitely isn’t the best insult he’s ever heard.

No sooner does Kappa finish the question than Casey charges forward, hockey stick held high and whooping his signature battle cry.

Deciding not to wait, Raph jumps into action as well, hoping Casey didn’t just seal their fates over being called a dimwit, which, to be fair, he kind of is.

Kappa and Casey make contact first, the mutant unafraid of showing his obvious superiority to the human. Within seconds, Casey is knocked to the ground unconscious. 

Raph can’t really say he expected a different outcome, but he had hoped that Case would remain in this fight a little longer.

He reaches the mutant and strikes with his sai, which are blocked by sturdy arms. Eyes widening slightly in surprise, Raph realizes something he hadn’t noticed during the brief fight between Kappa and Casey… the mutant doesn’t have his swords out, they’re still sheathed behind his back.

Striking again and again, looking for a weak spot, Raph considers this strange choice. Either the enemy truly doesn’t wish to fight, or, more likely, he’s mocking Raph.  
Deciding that in his experience, the latter is most frequent, Raph takes advantage of his enemy’s idiotic decision and attacks at any opening he can find. 

As the fight drags on and each blow is blocked or entirely avoided, it becomes apparent that both are beginning to tire. 

With a hard kick to Raph’s plastron, putting distance between the two, Kappa once again raises his hands, “Really,” he says, slightly out of breath, “I’m not here to fight.”

Raph considers this, glancing quickly at his still unconscious friend, “Ya got a great way a’ showing that,” he says sarcastically, gesturing at Casey.

Kappa sighs and lowers his hands, “What was I supposed to do,” he states more than asks, and noticing Raph’s covert worry adds, “He’s alright you know, I hit a pressure point. He's just sleeping.” 

Raph glares daggers at the mutant as he regains his breath, not really trusting the explanation, but hopeful that it’s true. Casey really can’t take more concussions at this point. 

Lowering his sai, Raph ventures to take a step forward, “You said you came to talk, so, talk, whatta ya want?” he says with no small amount of disdain.

Taken aback, Kappa doesn’t give an immediate answer, instead seeming to consider his response. “Alright,” he starts slowly, “I guess your cautiousness is warranted, however...,” here he pauses for a long moment before saying, “I’ve never met another mutant like me before. I thought I was the only one.”

The second the words leave his mouth, Raph scowls, thinking back to Donnie’s absurd declaration that they may have a fourth brother. “Yeah we’re mutant turtles, that’s pretty obvious,” he says, then adds gesturing to the other’s missing shell, “though not so much in your case…What of it?” he ends haughtily, challenging the other. 

“So aren’t you curious?” he asks. 

This is the first time Raph has heard sincerity in the voice of the other mutant since they started this conversation. It causes him to second guess his hostility, but then he remembers something that separates the two further than any obstacle could.

“What’s it matter? You’re Shredda’s minion,” stepping further forward so that the two are just an arm’s length away, Raph lowers his voice to sneer, “which means that you can fuck off.”

Kappa frowns at this and in the seconds it takes for him to formulate a response, a groan is heard from nearby.

Both mutants turn to see that Casey is starting to regain consciousness. Sending another heated glare at Kappa, Raph moves over to Casey, deciding to end the conversation. Keeping a wary eye on their enemy, he helps his friend sit up.

Kappa on the other hand only stands aside for a moment before turning and leaving.

Raph is left to wonder about the encounter for a minute before Casey gains full consciousness, asking about what happened. 

Raph didn’t have the heart to disclose how quickly and easily his best friend went down.

ooo  
/p>

The concussion test Don begrudgingly performed on Casey came back negative, meaning he wasn’t concussed. Besides a few new bruises, Casey was pretty much uninjured. He left later that night once the brothers made sure he was fit to go. He usually likes to be home in time for his little sister to go to bed. He never really elaborates on it, but you don’t have to be a genius to understand. Casey’s always been protective of his little sister, especially at night when their father is most likely to be home.

So, after Casey left, Raph went to bed, trying and failing to sleep. He couldn’t help but think about what had happened earlier. Why wouldn’t the enemy unsheathe his swords? What kind of game is he playing? Just a few days ago the Foot ninja was aggressively attacking and slicing Raph to ribbons, so what caused this sudden change of heart?

These thoughts had circled his mind well into the night, never really providing a satisfying answer.

When Raph woke up the next morning to the blaring sound of his alarm, he cursed everything. He hadn’t gotten nearly enough sleep the previous night.<

Standing from his hammock, Raph checks his bandages and gets dressed. Lucky for him, his mutant DNA is wired for faster healing than any human. Most of the more shallow cuts from a few days ago are now either scabbed over or completely healed. The deeper lacerations, however, will take some more time, but within a week, he should be back to normal.

Heading to the kitchen, he finds that Mikey is already up and making breakfast. The pleasant smell of waffles, eggs, and sausage fill Raph’s nose. The brothers have really upped their food game ever since they were allowed to start exploring above ground and since they became friends with two humans. Before, it was algae, worms, and the occasional gutter trash. Now, they actually have a variety to choose from. Raph never knew how many different foods there were and he’ll never take it for granted.

As Mikey relays all of the ‘super fun and cool’ events of his slumber party with the Mutanimals, Raph only half listens. He’s still replaying the conversation he and Kappa had last night. 

Breakfast passes quickly and uneventfully, with only one waffle succumbing to a horrific fate of splattering on the ground and training goes about the same, just without the splattering part.  
Even though it’s still daylight, Raph has been stuck in his head all morning and decides that some time outside may help him clear his mind. His brothers are, once again, busy doing their own things, Mikey and Ice Cream Kitty are playing a game of improv poker and Donnie is Facetiming April during her lunch break.

So, without hesitation Raph leaves the lair and decides to wander around New York. He isn’t disappointed by the sights, sounds, and smells of the city. Summer is in full swing and the people below seem invigorated with a newfound energy.

He can’t help but join in their excitement for the beautiful weather. The brothers usually don’t venture out in the daylight, for obvious reasons, but sometimes, the sun is just too amazing to miss. Not only that, but New York during the day is a totally different experience to New York at night. There’s a liveliness that only daytime can elicit. 

Raph makes his way across many roofs and up and down plenty of escape ladders. He’d be lying if he said he knew every crevice of the city. Sure, he and his brothers are more than familiar with certain parts, but they’ve only been exploring for two years now and most of that exploring is done during the night. It isn’t uncommon for Raph to come across some section of homes or commercial buildings he’s never seen before.

As time passes and he jumps from roof to roof, Raph realizes belatedly that he’s starting to get closer to the Foot headquarters. He’s a few miles out, but that doesn’t mean anything, there could still be ninjas lurking around. So he slows his advance and branches off in a new direction. He doesn’t know why he ended up coming this way, maybe he was subconsciously looking for trouble after spending so much time thinking about last night, but he has the sense to realize his mistake and change paths to avoid confrontation.

Or at least he thought he did.

As he climbs over the parapet of the next building, he immediately stops, one leg still hanging over the other side. Right in front of him, about 6 yards away, is Kappa. He’s sitting in the Lotus position, hands resting on his knees and eyes closed. He doesn’t seem to have noticed Raph, apparently in deep meditation.

Raph almost turns to head back the direction he came, but instead swings his leg over so that he’s standing on the roof. He hesitates for only a second before cautiously moving forward. He decides that he wants answers, answers he’ll probably only get if he stays and confronts the enemy here.

Fuck it, he thinks to himself as he gets closer and closer to the sedate and unaware mutant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally caved in and made a chapter by chapter list of what I’m planning, probably should have done that sooner, but as previously stated, I’m figuring this shit out as I go.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did somebody order angst with a side of hurt sans comfort? No? Guess I’ll just leave it here then... 
> 
> Trigger warning for panic attack

Training has been postponed this morning due to a formal meeting between the higher ups of the Foot and the leaders of a few local gangs, which is a pleasant blessing that Kappa doesn’t plan on wasting. It isn’t often that he gets a morning away from the watchful eye of a superior for whatever he pleases.

He dresses in his battle suit and armor and then makes his way to the rooftops. He makes sure to put a respectable distance between himself and the Foot headquarters so that he may have some peace yet be close enough to make an appearance if needed. He’s a few miles out, deciding to stop closer to the docks so that he can just barely hear the sounds of the dock bells and freighter ship whistles over the din of the city. 

This spot should be good, he thinks to himself, taking in his surroundings.

He’s standing on a rooftop similar to any other in Manhattan, there’s a utility closet behind him and a couple ventilation systems rumbling lowly. In the distance, he hears the barks of a dog and the shrill screams of joy from young children. Yeah, this is a good place.

Sitting in the middle of the roof, Kappa positions himself so that he’s in the Lotus position and tries to shut out the world. Meditation is something he’s always enjoyed as a pastime. Karai mocks him for it, but there’s nothing quite like the sensation of falling into a deep meditation. Not to mention he has a few things on his mind he needs to sort out anyways.

He allows his mind to wander to the previous night. When Casey charged him, he could have ended it there. He could have easily killed the human and moved on to eliminate his true target, however, he didn’t. In the moment between deciding whether to snap the boy’s neck or simply put him to sleep, an idea struck him.

It must have been luck that he came across Raphael of all the brothers first. By showing restraint and mercy towards Raphael’s ally, Kappa can now move forward in his mission to gain information from the turtles with less resistance from the brother that should offer the most resistance. At least he hopes so. 

Raphael is, without a doubt, the most difficult of the brothers to reach, however, he is the leader of the team of ninjas. Kappa had originally planned to covertly interrogate Michelangelo considering his more trusting and boisterous personality. He had even considered approaching Donatello since they are closer in intelligence than the other two. 

Fate has chosen his path for him though and he is skeptically hopeful that it will work out for the better. 

Time starts to blend and lose meaning as he sinks further and further into his meditative state. Minutes or perhaps hours go by without care. A connection to the world he hasn’t felt in a while begins to form. 

He almost misses the sound of carefully treading feet. Slowly coming out of the meditative state, he focuses on sensing his environment. He can tell that whoever is approaching him hasn’t discovered that he is now fully conscious again. Listening intently and scenting the air, Kappa realizes that the intruder is not human. In fact, he can sense that the other is reptilian.

Suppressing the urge to smile, Kappa comes to the understanding that none other than Hamato Raphael is currently attempting to sneak up on him. While the attempt is executed with the skill of a ninja, Kappa can’t help but think about how ridiculous the turtle is. Did he really think that Kappa wouldn’t notice him? 

“Hey…,” Raphael starts quietly, hesitantly adding, “Hello? You in there?” 

He halts in his approach a few yards away and by the sounds of shuffling feet and equipment, Kappa can tell that Raphael is unsure of what to do next. 

Not wanting to lose an opportunity, Kappa reluctantly opens his eyes and looks upon Raphael with subtle indifference. For a moment, both mutants exchange glances, sizing up the enemy and getting a read of their intentions. 

Kappa feels a fleeting hatred at the sight of Raphael, his thoughts going back to the assumed leisurely life of the other and the hardships of his own. However, that feeling is quickly suppressed so that he can come across as amicable and polite.

Kappa remains sitting as he replies, “What are you doing here?”

Raphael’s cautious gaze morphs into irritation, “Me?” he says pointing at himself and then crossing his arms as he continues, “What the hell are you doing here? Don’t you got babies to murder somewhere?”

At this, Kappa smirks, “Not at the moment,” he says dryly. 

An awkward second passes between the two, Raphael seeming to consider his company and collect his thoughts before asking, “Alright. So lemme say what I really wanna say. Why weren’t you fighting back the other night?” Raphael’s brow raises as he asks the question, clearly demanding an answer.

Kappa smoothly responds, “Because, like I told you, I wasn’t there to fight.”

At this Raphael snorts and curls his beak in frustration, “So that’s it huh? No explanation? Like why the hell you snuck up on us or why you didn’t just kill Casey? I guess it was just a whim or maybe it was my lucky night.”

A few minutes of silence pass, neither budging to elaborate. Kappa’s never really been good at lying, so he’s hoping to avoid giving a straightforward answer to Raphael’s questions. He can’t exactly tell Raphael that he intended to gain information regarding Karai’s alliances and the home of the Hamato clan for extermination purposes…

“Alright, fuck it,” Raphael suddenly exclaims, roughly plopping down and sitting cross-legged on the asphalt roof as well. “You wanted ta talk, well, here we are. Talk.”

To the untrained eye, both mutants appear relaxed. However, the two ninjas are deceptively ready to spring into action if needed. Kappa had never thought this encounter would end up like this, but here he is, sitting on a roof in Manhattan thinking of something to say to his enemy so that he doesn’t come across as an enemy.

“Like I said last night,” he begins slowly, formulating what he’ll say next so that he can spin the conversation. He needs this to solely be an interrogation of Raphael and not give him anything in return. “I’ve never met another mutant turtle before. I thought I was the only one of my kind,” here, he pauses to allow this reiteration to sink in, “I suppose I’d like to know more about us. We don’t have to become friends, but I can’t ignore that I’m no longer alone.”  
With this last statement, Kappa can tell that he struck a chord. Raphael’s features relax slightly in sympathy. He’ll have to play that angle again in the future. 

“Ok…,” Raphael drags out, “so, uh, whatta ya wanna know?” There’s still an air of caution in his tone.

Kappa hadn’t thought this would go so smoothly. Now he’s desperately searching his mind for topics to keep this conversation going, preferably in a direction that’s actually beneficial to himself.

“Where did we come from?” he asks. Regardless of how many experiments or interrogations Kappa himself underwent, Stockman and Bishop couldn’t figure out why he is the way he is. Sure, they know he’s mutated, but how? Why is he anthropomorphic? The other mutants of the Foot Clan were human before they were mutated, but he is more turtle than human meaning he wasn’t human before. How is he even alive? 

These questions used to occupy his mind a lot more a few years ago. But now? He’s learned to not expect answers. He’s learned that ensuring his survival in the present is much more important than dwelling on such things.

Raphael thinks over his answer for a moment before saying, “We were mutated by the Kraang, you know what they are?”

Kappa responds with a nod. He’s never come in contact with one of the aliens, but he knows he has them to thank for the mutation.

Raphael then briefly relays the events that lead to their mutation.

“Is it possible that the story is wrong? Could there have been four instead of three turtles?” Kappa asks, his interest in the subject betraying his initial intentions.

Raphael scoffs at the question, “No, Splinter’s old but he ain’t senile just yet. Even if there was a fourth, there’s no way they wouldn’t have grown up with us.” 

This remark makes Kappa halt… so where did he come from then?

“But that doesn’t make sense. We’re both mutant turtles, we both have human consciousness, we’re even similar in age,” Kappa says, trying to keep the confusion and hope from his voice. Where did that come from? Why is he suddenly so invested in this?

“We ain’t all that similar,” Raphael says. This response only serves to confuse Kappa more and he conveys this by raising a brow beneath his black headband.  
Raphael’s next response strikes Kappa with a heartbreaking realization. 

Pointing to his own shell, Raphael states, “You ain’t got the trademark turtle shell. Don said it may be a deformity, but I think you just ain’t all that like us.”

Oh… he just doesn’t get it, but… why would he? He’s never had to consider something so awful. He takes his time responding so that the abrupt underlaying resentment doesn’t show through.

“I had a shell. It was removed when I was six,” he says, not quite keeping his jaw from clenching and conveying his discomfort. 

It’s obvious that this isn’t what Raphael expected to hear. His eyes widen and his mouth parts slightly. Silence passes between the two before Raphael sputters, “But… how- I mean- why? Why the hell would anyone do that?”

Steeling himself so that his emotions remain firmly hidden, Kappa relays the reasons coldly, “There’s plenty of reasons why. Better flexibility and agility, increased speed, a more human build for deception, a more sexually pleasing figure, easier access to internal organs… the list goes on,” he stops there, not wanting to discuss how it also serves as a means of degradation and control. 

He can’t exactly just leave the Foot considering his spine and nervous system experience rare but potentially fatal or life-altering breakdowns. Bishop is, unfortunately, the only one with the knowledge and capabilities to fix him. Not that he would want to leave his clan anyways… but when he was younger, the thought did cross his mind, until he lost his shell that is and any fantasy of being independent was, quite literally, ripped away from him.

Sensing Raphael’s stunned disbelief, Kappa unzips the top of his jacket and pulls his Kevlar vest and undershirt down mid-chest, revealing the unmistakable scars that curve from shoulder to shoulder and the other that runs down the middle of his chest. 

“It took two and a half years for me to recover. I had to relearn how to walk… amongst other things,” he can feel that he’s starting to tread upon triggering subjects for himself. He needs to steer this conversation in a new direction, there's too much focus on himself.

He repositions his vest and zips his fitted jacket back up. “So we’re the same, meaning I had to come from somewhere similar. Your master never mentioned a fourth turtle?”

Raphael takes a bit to respond, seemingly lost in his thoughts. “No, he never said anything about there being four of us.”

Kappa can tell that Raphael’s mind is spinning, which is just fine because right now his own is spiraling out of control. He really wishes that topic hadn’t been brought up. 

“Besides, there’s no way Splinter would have lost one of us and if he did, you’d have never survived on your own,” Raphael says, trying to reason this out, but his voice is growing more and more distant. There's a familiar tendril of fear wrapping around his heart. He doesn't talk about these things with anyone, ever. This is definitely not how this conversation was supposed to go.

I didn’t survive on my own, Kappa thinks, but can barely hear his own thoughts now. I was locked in a metal dog crate and left in a room for four years by a woman whose mind was twisted by the constant drugs she put in her wasting body.

The tell-tale signs of a panic attack are creeping up on him. He doesn’t like thinking about that part of his life, in fact, he tries to avoid it at all costs because of the trauma and the unbearable memories of being alone. He was always alone.

His breathing is subtly picking up pace and he can feel the way his body starts to shake minutely. Nausea swirls in the pit of his stomach, threatening to send him heaving and there’s an awful, growing feeling of scared- I’m scared, make it stop.

He can’t tell if Raphael is still speaking to him or not, but he doesn’t wait another second to find out. Abruptly, Kappa stands and leaves. Through the fog of panic he can make out a shout of ‘wait!’ but he can’t respond, no he needs to go home right now.

He doesn’t remember when he got to his room or how long he has been sitting on his futon in the corner, but when he finally starts to calm down he can feel the earlier nausea increase tenfold. Running to the bathroom, Kappa kneels over the toilet just in time. The force of it leaves him dry heaving afterwards.

Spitting into the bowl and sitting back, Kappa closes his eyes and rests his head back on the cool tile. It’s been a long time since he experienced such a bad panic attack. He usually isn’t in a state of mind where they occur because he’s constantly in survival mode. There have only been a few moments of his life in which he was able to feel like that, suspended between running away and fighting.

A sharp succession of knocks on his bedroom door pull him from his mind abruptly.

“You’re needed at the dojo, training is beginning,” the voice states indifferently before the sound of retreating footsteps signal that they've left.

Sighing, Kappa stands and gets himself under control. He can’t be a mess right now, he needs to suck it up and get to training.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been sitting in my drafts for days now and it was so hard to not just post it right away. Anyways, Raph and Leo finally had a heart-to-heart. This was much needed for me, hopefully it was for you as well. Additionally, something tells me that Foot!Leo wouldn’t exactly understand his mental health or even try to understand it given his circumstances. Poor thing :’(
> 
> Also, thank you to everyone who has followed and/or favorited!!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve never written from Mikey’s POV considering this is my first fic, so we’ll see how this pans out.  
> Trigger warning: human trafficking

Raph’s been acting weird lately and Mikey’s on the hunt for answers. Ever since they learned that Kappa could possibly (definitely) be their brother, Raph and Donnie have been avoiding the issue at any cost. In fact, they don’t even talk about the mutant whatsoever. Well, Mikey’s not gonna let that slide. 

They’ve got another brother out there and nothing they say or do can keep Mikey away. Besides, who else is going to prove that having four super awesome ninja turtles is better than three? So maybe he should hint at something Foot-related… maybe then they’ll run into Kappa again.

Creeping up to the lab, Mikey slowly opens the door so that the hinges don’t creak and announce his presence. As expected, Donnie is concentrating on a project, too far into it to notice his little brother. Mikey carefully sneaks into the lab, silently coming up behind Donnie. He’s always been the quietest when it comes to sneaking up on people, it’s a skill he’s quite proud of.

Don’s head whips to the side suddenly and Mikey’s heart jumps to his throat as he freezes. I’ve been caught!, his mind exclaims. However, upon waiting with baited breath, Mikey watches as Donnie reaches over to grab his wire cutters and then return to his work.

Mikey deflates slightly in relief, his childish prank is saved. He carefully continues his approach, stalking up to the unsuspecting turtle. When he stands immediately behind Donnie, he can’t help the splitting grin that makes its way onto his face, nor the quiet snickers that escape him.

Slowly raising his hands, Mikey prepares himself to attack. He creeps forward just… ever so… slightly and- “GAH!” he yelps as he jumps back. 

Without warning, Donatello had spun around and said, with nowhere near as much enthusiasm as Mikey had planned to use mind you, “Boo.” 

Clutching his shell just above his heart, Mikey replies in mock irritation, “Geez Don, give a guy a heart attack why don’t ya?”

“Mikey,” Donnie responds frowning, “Why exactly are you sneaking up on me when I’m clearly busy?” He emphasizes his point by gesturing to the parts and wires strewn across his desk. 

“Oh come on Donnie,” Mikey whines, “you’re always busy. What’s a turtle supposed to do to have any fun around here?”

Crossing his arms, but allowing a slight smirk to come across his beak, Donnie says sardonically, “You can always bother Raph instead, I’m sure he needs a new punching bag by now.”

Feigning hurt and surprise, Mikey replies, but not without a dramatic gasp first, “My dear brother would rather send me to die at the hands of a raging beast than spend these precious moments together?” Mikey seals the brilliant acting by placing the back of his hand to his forehead, “for shame!”

“What precious moments?” Donnie grumbles before saying, “and Raph’s your brother too, raging beast or not.” 

Mikey can’t help but break character and giggle at Donnie’s response, his middle brother has always had an amusing dry humor. At the sound of Mikey’s laughter, Donnie smiles and shakes his head.

“So why are you really here Mikey?” he asks, turning slightly so that he can both work and keep the conversation open.

Thinking back to a previous conversation with Mondo that may get them involved in Foot business, Mikey says, “Well, remember how we tried to stop the Purple Dragons from getting those weapons a while ago? And then Raph overheard Karai say something about a meeting with Hun when he fought with the Shell-less Wonder Ninja,” Mikey can tell by Donnie’s paused movements and raised brow that he’s got his attention, “Well, Mondo told me that he saw some shady guys hanging around a van with a purple dragon painted on the side of it and-,”

“Mikey are you going to get to some kind of point here?” Donnie interrupts exasperatedly. 

Huffing, Mikey says, “I’m trying to Dee. Anyways, there were Foot ninjas hanging out around that van too. It’s all really suspicious. I think we need to check it out.”

“Hmmm,” Donnie replies, putting his hand to his chin, “it’s nothing new that the Purple Dragons and the Foot are working together, but I agree. This recent increase in activity has been worrying me too. We should talk to Raph and Splinter.”

After sharing a quick glance of mutual understanding, the brothers leave the lab, heading for the dojo. Inside, Raph is practicing the techniques he fell behind on when he was injured and healing. Their hotheaded brother had taken the news well when Splinter told him he’d have to attend extra training for a few days. However, of course, Mikey couldn’t help teasing him about it, which had led to quite a tantrum.

Even though Raph has gotten over his irritation, Mikey still stays behind his tallest bro as both a precaution and a dramatic act. He’s always had a love for the dramatics.

“Yamate,” Splinter says as they enter, signaling for Raph to halt his movements while turning to face his other children.

Mikey can’t help but notice the gray and white hairs of his father’s face. It seems as though over these past couple of years, he’s aged quite a lot. He’s not sure how long rats live, but he’s hoping the human side rules over. 

The sight of his father standing in the dojo is so familiar it has been etched into his memory and he hopes it stays that way. He hopes that, if he lives to be old himself, he’ll never forget his family; their distinct features, the way they laugh, the color of their eyes. His brothers credit him with being unfalteringly happy, but really it just comes down to the fact that time is precious. He knows he won’t have this forever.

He’s snapped out of his somber thoughts as Donnie stops in front of him and he steps to Donnie’s right so that he is clearly visible. Raph is now throwing them curious glances from Dee’s left side, obviously questioning what’s so important that they’d interrupt Sensei’s training.

“What is the trouble my sons?” Splinter asks calmly, hands still folded behind his back.

Clearing his throat, Donnie responds, “We think there’s something more going on between the Foot and the Purple Dragons lately. Their activity is becoming more noticeable. We should probably organize a mission to check it out.”

“Hmm,” their father replies, running his hand down his beard and contemplating the news. “Yes, I believe this matter should be investigated. Raphael,” he now turns his attention to the eldest, “you are dismissed from training for the afternoon. Take this time to discuss the best course of action with your brothers. However, it would be best if you avoid fighting this time.”

The subtle reprimand isn’t missed by any of the brothers. They’ve done espionage missions before, but those almost always turn into a fight. Between Mikey’s clumsiness and Raph’s impulsivity, there’s really no chance that a recon mission is ever solely recon.

“Hai sensei,” Raphael says with the signature bow at the end of a training session. 

Mikey follows as Donnie turns to exit, Raph bringing up the rear. They make their way to Donnie’s lab where most missions are planned out.

Once inside, Donnie moves to his computer, fingers clacking away at the keyboard as he asks, “Where did Mondo say he saw that Purple Dragon van?”

Thrown off by the question, Mikey tries to reign in his wandering mind and recall the conversation he had with his best friend, “Uhhhh, I think it was near the skate park. The one on the corner of Eastman and Laird.”

More furious typing accompanies Mikey’s answer and he can’t help but be distracted by the fast motions. Raph and Donnie are discussing something, probably a plan of action or whatever, but Mikey’s mind is too focused on the sound of the keyboard and the blur of fingers. He wonders if anyone is as fast at typing as Donnie is, probably not though because Dee is always on his computer and- 

“Hey, shell for brains,” Raph says exasperatedly while waving a hand in front of Mikey’s face, “You get what we just said? Cause I ain’t bailin’ you out if you mess up.” Raphael crosses his arms as he waits for an answer.

Mikey nods and smiles, he’d rather act as though he was paying attention than be scolded by his older brothers. He can’t help that his mind wanders during conversations he should probably listen to, but improvisation is more Mikey’s style anyways. 

“Good,” Raph says, albeit a bit skeptically, “Then we’ll head out when the sun goes down.”

Donnie nods in response and Mikey follows his lead. 

ooo

Unfortunately, the sun takes forever to set during the summer. Mikey was just about to die of boredom when Raph announced that it was time to go. Springing from where he had been starfishing on the concrete, Mikey secures his nunchakus and runs after his brothers. There’s always a certain nervous kind of excitement that accompanies a mission and Mikey loves it.

They make their way to the rooftops of New York in no time, sprinting across buildings towards the skate park. Mikey obviously doesn’t know what the plan is, but taking cues from his brothers has always worked, well, mostly worked. So he hopes to get by through observing his bros and following their lead, that’s what they usually expect of him anyways.

Regardless of how solid or extravagant his ideas are, Raph and Donnie often find some flaw or dismiss him altogether. To be honest though, he’s almost fine with it. He’s always been more of a follower than a leader.

When they arrive at the site, Raph instructs them to split up and look for any suspicious vans or people. Mikey heads north, while Raph goes southeast and Dee goes southwest. They’ve learned that this triangular trajectory is most useful for their search missions.

Mikey keeps an eye out for any creepy white vans as he moves along, surveying the area. He grins as he imagines running across it and the butt-kicking he’d hopefully get to do. He doesn’t get far, however, as his T-phone starts vibrating. Halting his search, he removes his phone from his belt and sees that Donnie has sent a text. Apparently he’s found one of the vans.

That was easy, Mikey thinks to himself as he heads in Dee’s direction. It usually takes a lot longer to pinpoint something they’re sort of randomly looking for. 

He gets to Dee in no time, slightly bummed that he didn’t find it first, but satisfied to see that he’s beaten Raph at getting here. He crouches with Donnie behind the parapet of the building they’re on. Below, a single white van with the Purple Dragon logo is sitting in the alley. There doesn’t seem to be any people around though…

Raph joins the brothers seconds later and crouches next to Mikey.

A few minutes pass of sitting and silently observing the van and surrounding area before Mikey whispers, “Sooooooo where is everyone?”

Donnie shrugs in response, “I don’t know, I didn’t see anyone when I got here.”

“Then we’ll wait till they show up,” Raph says, but Mikey can hear the underlying tone of impatience. Sure, they may wait for an hour or two tops, but eventually either Raph or Mikey himself will get fed up and decide to snoop around.

So, they wait and after about half an hour, Mikey’s focus has already vanished. He’s leaning on the parapet so that his right hand dangles over and his chin rests against the concrete. Sighing louder than necessary, he looks at his brothers. Raph is frowning deeply, eyes burning with a demand that someone shows up and Donnie is discreetly texting April. Yeah, they’ve never been good at this whole stake-out thing.

An hour passes slowly and painstakingly before anything interesting happens. By this point, Mikey is laid out on the roof, Donnie is resting his shell against the parapet just as bored, and Raph is grumbling to himself, but they don’t miss the sudden brightness of a light turning on in the dark alley below. All three jump to attention, leaning over and staring at the metal door that’s below the outdoor lamp illuminating the alley, willing someone to walk out of it.

The door swings open shortly, and a few Foot ninja exit, making quick glances before leaving the scene. The door then shuts with a loud bang in the quiet alleyway. Raph starts silently instructing the brothers on who’s going to tail the ninjas when the door slams open again, smacking against the adjacent wall loud enough to startle Mikey.

Two large men with purple dragon tattoos walk out, holding a struggling woman between them. By appearance alone, which isn't really a good indicator, he knows, Mikey is guessing that she’s homeless. The matted hair, tattered and scant clothes, and absence of shoes leads him to this conclusion. A thick line of blood is running down the side of her face, indicating a head injury.

The woman is young, probably not much older than Mikey himself, and although she’s putting up a fight, although she is really, desperately trying to get away, she can’t. Her mouth is gagged with what looks like a line of t-shirt tied around to the back of her head and her hands are zip-tied together. Between her binds and the steel grips of the men, she has no chance of escaping.

The men drag her from the doorway and towards the back of the van. Before the brothers can move into action, another pair of men come out with yet another unfortunate woman. This time though, she is completely naked and unconscious, her head lolling and feet dragging along behind her. The sight is sickening and the slurs and taunts the men are making as they push the first woman into the open back of the van are even more so.

Living in New York, they’ve come across their fair share of repulsive acts. They’re almost used to the armed robberies, bullying, and harassment they witness almost every time they leave the lair, but these kinds of things they’ll never get used to. Nobody could ever get used to sights like this.

Thankfully, Raph seems to have seen enough too and catapults over the parapet, weapons out. Mikey rarely curses, but these bastards aren’t getting away with this. Not now, not ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for some reason I struggled writing 2012 Mikey, he just seems very 2003, which, to be fair is the version of the turtles I know most about considering I grew up with that series. Also, I like the idea that Mikey is more introspective than the shows portray. I think he’s actually quite clever and sentimental, he deserves more depth.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’ve got lots of dialogue ahead, so sit back, play some tunes, and enjoy!

Fear runs down his spine. As he was getting ready for this morning’s training session, loud knocks in rapid succession alerted Kappa to some urgent matter. He had opened his door quickly and the message he received took his breath away.

The exchange of ‘items’ last night was interrupted. Apparently the Hamato clan had intercepted the meeting, releasing the assets in the process and now Master has requested his presence…

So here he is, walking hastily to the throne room. As he makes his way through the hallways, he thinks about what had happened and what will happen as a consequence. Did he do something wrong somehow? How is he involved in this? He understands why they did it, he really does. He’s never been a fan of the trafficking, but it doesn’t matter what he’s a fan of. However, the problem lies in those women being free. They’re a liability and now Kappa is being summoned for some reason. The anticipation is agony. 

It’s unfortunate, this whole scenario and there’s going to be a lot of hell to pay by everyone involved. It takes time and, most importantly, money for Master to acquire these women. It isn’t as simple as picking one up off the side of the road. There can’t be any suspicion, these women have to completely disappear. Their backgrounds and families have to be investigated, they have to be tracked to identify patterns, tested for any diseases, treated for any substance abuse, etc., etc. 

So to have two women who have been scouted and approved suddenly gone is a catastrophe. Especially considering the ones who let them go are on Kappa’s watch. Maybe that's why he's been called for...

His mind is now racing through possibilities of how the interaction with Master will go and none of them seem to be too promising. He’s screwed… He’s so fucking screwed.

He enters the throne room, eyes downcast and head lowered. He can’t afford to show anything aside from obedience right now and as he makes his way to kneel before the dais, he can feel the furious glare from Master. Kappa takes notice that Karai is nowhere to be seen and neither are any of the usual guards. It’s just him and the livid man before him. Any pretense of calm has now vanished.

This isn’t good…

He kneels and enters the dogeza position, making sure to keep his head to the ground for a longer time than usual before lifting it to stare at the base of the throne. He’s been here so many times. It isn’t often that Master is this angry, especially with him, Kappa’s worked hard to make it that way. So being here, in this room with the one man that could condemn him to a miserable existence or even death, he’s scared shitless.

“You are aware of what happened,” he demands more than asks in a low, displeased tone.

“Hai,” Kappa responds, trying to keep any nervousness from his voice.

“You are aware of who allowed this to happen,” he says with false calm.

“Hai, Master,” Kappa again responds, hoping against all likelihood that he’ll escape this unharmed.

“Because it wasn’t those infernal turtles. No, it was you, you allowed an invaluable exchange to be interfered with and do you know why?” Master says, his voice growing more and more intense with rage. He’s suddenly standing now, towering over Kappa.

“Hai,” Kappa practically whispers, hands clenching as they rest on his thighs, trying to prepare himself for anything.

“Because you didn’t complete your mission. Those abominations should be dead,” he finishes, voice lowering to an ominous timbre. 

Master steps off the dais and kneels down so that he is resting on one armored knee in front of Kappa. He reaches forwards and grasps Kappa’s jaw, forcing his face up so that he has to make eye contact. 

Kappa is absolutely sure his fear his showing in his eyes, regardless of how much he's trying to not let it.

“Do not disappoint me again,” he says, releasing Kappa’s jaw harshly and dismissing him shortly after.

Kappa is trembling as he stands and turns to leave the room. An insistent uneasiness accompanies him the whole way out, feeling as though at any second Master could strike him through the back. He doesn’t breathe normally until the heavy doors close behind him. 

Wiping the beginnings of tears from his eyes with shaky hands, Kappa heads to the dojo.

ooo

Thankfully, training went by without a hitch. He has a few new bruises, but that’s nothing new.

Once again in the relative safety of his bedroom, Kappa takes a moment to breathe. He sits at the low table in the corner of his room and rests his head in his hands. Training helped him to calm down and start formulating a plan after that harrowing encounter. He figures now that the turtles will look further into the Foot’s operations, making the chances of running into them better. 

There’s still no definitive information on where they reside, the most they’ve been able to confirm is that the Hamato’s must reside somewhere in Manhattan. But where? Where could three giant mutant turtles and their rat father hide? Well, I suppose there’s a lot of places in a city to hide, he begrudgingly thinks.

The next delivery of ‘human goods’ isn’t going to happen for a few days and if he’s right, the turtles will show up, meaning that he’s going to have to act as a guard. So, until then, he’ll have to settle for continuing his aimless search for the brothers.

His door swings open and shut almost imperceptibly, pointing to the presence of only one person. 

“Hey,” Karai says approaching slowly and sitting across from Kappa, “I heard what happened.”

After a few moments of silence, she reaches out and says, “Are you okay?” but Kappa lifts his head and pulls his hands away, placing them on his lap.

“Yeah,” he replies quietly.

This is the first time Karai has spoken to him since their argument just over two weeks ago. He knows he really shouldn’t shut her out right now, but it’s hard not to when he feels like he’s shutting down himself.

“You’re miserable,” she states flatly, but not without some inflection of care.

He smiles despite himself and huffs a laugh in response, “It’s that easy to tell, huh?” 

“Well, I am trained in the art of observation sooooo,” she says pulling back so that she isn’t leaning on the table. “You can’t really blame them though, those girls don’t deserve that,” she says, changing the subject.

“No, they don’t, but that doesn’t matter. They just sentenced those girls to death,” and they both know that the deaths of those women will not be pleasant.

“They don’t know that,” she says lowly, somberly, crossing her arms on the little table and resting her chin on her forearms. 

Silence passes between the two, both deep in the thought and neither really wanting to elaborate on the subject. But there’s something that Kappa just can’t let go. Finally, Kappa says, “You’re right, they don’t know,” his tone causing Karai to look up at him, “They don’t know anything, they’re too ignorant and caught up in their ‘honor,’” he says with air quotes, “to get that they’re doing more harm than good.”

Karai sits up at this, “So what were they supposed to do? Walk the other way? Tell me, what would you have done?” she replies haughtily. 

Kappa frowns, “I’d have done whatever I was ordered to do and nothing else.”

Now Karai is glowering at him, “You’re such a fucking idiot,” she whispers more to herself, then says directly to him, “A few years ago, you’d have done the same thing. You don’t fool me, I know that you care, I know you feel for those girls, and I know that you’re glad they were released. I sure am and I hope that they’ll make it out alive.”

Kappa doesn’t say anything, because yes, she’s right, he is glad they’ve escaped, that perhaps they can live happily for a short time. But that doesn’t change reality and reality is that those women are already dead, metaphorically if not literally just yet.

“They’re not bad people. I think you’d like them if you got to know them,” she says, smirking. 

Kappa scoffs, “Yeah and why don’t I just go ahead and slit my throat so Master doesn’t have to waste his energy. Honestly Karai, what is with you defending them?” The idea of it all is just too uncanny and that’s all it is, an idea, but why does she keep arguing with him about them? 

“Pfft, please,” she says, “you know he’d just have me kill you.” She’s full on smiling now, tapping her nails against the wood of the table and Kappa can’t help but to smile as well, even though she dodged his second question.

“Ha, yeah right, you’d chicken out before you even unsheathed your tanto. Then we’d both be executed,” they laugh a bit at the thought of it. As morbid as it sounds, they’ve always shared a dark humor.

“I’m serious though,” she says trying to get her giggles under control, “this could really be something.”

Kappa frowns slightly now, hoping she isn’t going to say what he thinks she is.

Continuing, but more seriously now, Karai says, “This could be your way out.”

Kappa’s heard enough. “You can’t be serious right now Karai. There’s no way that would ever happen.”

“Why not? They would take you in, you can get away from all this shit. I’d kill to be your position right now, understand?” she asks and Kappa just shakes his head.

“I think we need to stop talking about this,” he replies with finality. They can’t discuss this, it’s never going to happen and Karai is risking far too much saying those things in a room with such thin walls. 

She scowls back at him but thankfully lets the issue drop. Another silence falls between them, although slightly more morose than before.

Kappa thinks back to the night Karai interrupted him in fighting Raphael. He had been winning, he was going to kill the other turtle. Was this Karai’s intention all along? Is it not that she’s a sympathizer, but that she’s trying to find an ‘out’ for Kappa? Oh gods, don’t let it be that. I can’t let her risk herself like that, his mind whispers in horror.

He would never forgive himself if anything happened to Karai, his only friend, his sister by bond. No, he needs to shut this down, there can be no question about it.  
“So, what are you gonna do then?” she asks, breaking the silence.

“I’m going to accompany the next exchange, I’m sure they’ll figure out the when and where on their own, Donatello is craftier than I originally thought,” sighing, he adds, “Until then, I’m just going to patrol and hope to run into them.”

“Hmmm…. If you need help, I can give them hints just to make sure they show up. But only if you ask nicely,” she replies coyly. It seems as though she’s let the matter go completely. He can only hope that that’s the right assumption, but knowing Karai, there’s a reason she’s dropped it so quickly.

He grins in response, still unsteady, but ready to move on from their previous conversation. He’s about to give a snarky remark when an idea suddenly comes to him. “Wait, yeah, do that,” he says, “We can lure them in. Give them the impression that the next meeting will be at the loading docks. Then we can ambush them.”

“Woah, woah, woah, hold on, that’s- that’s not what I-,” she stutters, holding up her hands, maybe she didn’t fully let it go, “You can’t seriously think they’ll fall for that.” Her brow is raised in question and Kappa gets the faint sense that she’s faking it. It almost seems like she’s trying to defend them again… Oh well, when they’re dead, the problem will be solved. Then Karai won’t be risking her life like this over something so stupid and utterly impossible.

Standing, Kappa heads to his door, “I’m going to run my plan by Master, Karai. I wouldn’t show all your cards just yet if I were you. They’re not worth it.” And with that, he leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Kareshi means ‘boyfriend’ in Japanese (based on Google, so please correct me if I’m wrong). I’m using it here as a term of endearment. I like the idea that Karai used to tease Leo by calling him that, but now it’s just something she uses as a kind of a name for him in private. She doesn’t like calling him ‘Kappa.’
> 
> UPDATE: A reader on FFN informed me that Kareshi is correct, but that there are other terms such as koibito. So as long as these are accurate I may go back and forth between them.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh suspense, how I hate to love you…

It’s been a couple days since Raph and his brothers found out the Foot and the Purple Dragons were more disgusting than they had thought.

Ever since they dropped those women off outside of the closest hospital, the brothers have been doubling their efforts. Donnie tried tracking where the women came from, but they’re disappearances hadn’t been noticed by anyone. There were no missing persons reports, no distraught families, not even some distant acquaintances to care. It was like they were completely forgotten by the world. 

So, there really isn’t any way for them to protect potential targets. How do you locate someone that doesn’t exist, that seemingly comes from nowhere? You can’t stakeout the area if there is no area. But what makes Raph the most upset is that they don’t even know their names. Donnie couldn’t identify them at all. 

So instead, Donnie’s been hacking into the Foot’s headquarters to figure out the next meeting place between them and the Dragons. That way, the brothers can intercept it and hopefully get some answers considering the last fight hadn’t gone over well. Three of the four Dragons were knocked unconscious and the fourth had escaped between the chaos and the concern for the women.

Despite their best efforts, hacking isn't the easiest thing in the world, even for Donnie, and there hasn’t been any luck otherwise. So they’ve taken to patrolling every night and talking to some of their friends within the city to get any information they can.

Speaking of, the brothers are currently on yet another unproductive patrol. They haven’t come across anything even remotely criminal tonight, which is just weird considering they’re in New York. 

“Maaaaann, I’m starving! Can we call it a night and get some pizza?” Mikey asks, leaning back against an escape door with his hands over his plastron. As if to attest to his state of hunger, Mikey’s stomach growls loudly.

“Yeah, we should probably head back, I’d like to keep looking through security footage,” Donnie adds.

Raph nods in agreement, there’s no point in staying out too late. They’re all standing and getting ready to head home when Karai of all people lands on the parapet of the building, smirking at them.

“You’re not really thinking of leaving just yet are you?” she says playfully, stepping down from the ledge to stand with her arms crossed.

Raph scowls in response, pulling his sai from his belt. “What the hell do you want Karai?” he says angrily. His brothers follow his lead in being on guard, but they’re not quite as hostile.

They’ve gotten to a point with Karai where there’s a certain mutual understanding. They don’t kill her and she doesn’t kill them. Whether that’s because of empathy or rebellion against Shredder is unknown. Of course, Raph never liked her all that much, but he could appreciate her skill and cunning. That all changed, however, when they found those women. Karai is an integral part of the Foot, she doesn’t get a pass on this matter.

“I think you can guess,” she says, “I’m here because you three did something I couldn’t and I want to help you.” 

This throws all three brothers off. Raph raises his brow, confused, and says, “What?”

Rolling her eyes, she replies, “I want to help you guys release the rest of the women my father kidnapped.”

“And why should we believe you? Why now?” Donnie asks skeptically, raising a good point. Why didn’t she tell them about this literally any time before? 

She frowns, but doesn’t hesitate when she says, “Because… it’s easier to push those kinds of things to the back of my mind and not think about them. But… I can’t keep stepping aside. So, I’ll tell you guys where the next meet up is.”

A silence passes between them. Could she really be telling the truth? Knowing Karai, there’s probably some hidden reason. 

“So what do you get out of it?” Raph asks. Regardless of her sudden act of ‘truancy’ Raph doesn’t trust her.

She gives Raph quite the glare before saying, “Because, if you guys manage to even inconvenience one of Shredder’s most valuable and lucrative operations the littlest bit, he’s going to be completely focused on that. He already is to be honest. And you know what that means? He isn’t watching his back.”

She leaves it at that, strongly hinting at something the brothers never thought she’d consider. It’s almost so crazy it’s believable. So, after taking some time to think it over, Raph nods. If Karai’s telling the truth, then both parties would benefit and if she’s not… well, they’ll have to go into this prepared.

“Alright,” he says, “where they meeting at?”

She smiles at this, “It’s tomorrow night, down at dock H95 behind the shipping containers. They like to meet kinda late, so shoot for eleven or midnight.”

Raph nods once again, finally putting his sai away as she turns to leave.

“Oh, and by the way,” she says, “don’t let Shredder know it was me who told you,” and then disappears over the side of the building without waiting for an answer.

ooo

Back at the lair, the brothers relay their interaction with Karai and the information they gained to Splinter.

“It is worrying that she has only now decided to reveal something so important,” he says over his cup of tea, “but we should take this matter seriously. You three should attend the meeting, but please, use all caution. If you suspect that it may be an ambush at any moment, then leave immediately and let me know.”

From across the table Donnie speaks up, “I made sure that all of our shell cells have you listed as an emergency contact,” turning to face his brothers he adds, “so if anything goes wrong, just press the red phone icon in the bottom left corner of your screens. It’ll instantly call Sensei.” He emphasizes this by showing them where the icon is on his own phone.

Raph and Mikey both nod in understanding behind slices of pizza. That’s a feature they should’ve had a loooooong time ago, but he can’t blame Donnie, the poor guy is always overloaded with constant upgrading to their lair and equipment.

During the rest of dinner, Raph’s mind goes through the many possible scenarios. He hates having the responsibility of his brother’s lives on his hands. It’s incredibly stressful and can cause him a lot of anxiety, especially when a mission is so dangerous. 

He’s always had this vague feeling that he shouldn’t have this responsibility; that he shouldn’t be the oldest, but that never really made sense. There’s no way Mike could be anything but the baby of the family. And Donnie… well, it’s possible but that just feels even more wrong than Raph being the eldest. Then again, he’s probably just looking for a way out of his duties. 

His thoughts inevitably drift to Kappa. The other mutant definitely has an air of expertise that comes with age… but that’s the most ridiculous thought Raph’s had all night.

After dinner, the brothers watch a movie. Since it was Mikey’s turn to choose, they watched Shark Tale. Yes, Shark Tale… just so he could sing along to the carwash song… Raph has never felt so miserable. Only one popcorn fight broke out though, which Raph quickly shut down by wrestling the bowl from his littlest brother.

Once the movie ends, they all go their separate ways. Raph heads to his room and gets comfortable in his hammock. In the dark, he scans over his room. When he stops to really take in his surroundings, nostalgia creeps into the back of his mind. Sometimes he immediately shuts his eyes and rolls over, but other times, he lets that feeling in.

There are a thousand memories in this room, both good and bad. Everything has a meaning and most have a story. His favorites are the objects his father and brothers gave him. 

On the far wall, a sheet of bamboo paper with the kanji for strength hangs. Years ago, Splinter had made one for each of them that supposedly reflects their best characteristic. Donnie’s read ‘Brilliance’ and Mike’s read ‘Compassion.’ On his night stand, a paper swan, worn down by time and slightly crumpled sits lopsided, reminding Raph of Mikey’s origami phase. Beside the swan, is an action figure that has been fixed so many times with so many different parts that it looks more like Frankenstein than anything else, but the point is that every time Raph broke it, accidently or on purpose, Don always fixed it.

Every now and then, Raph finds himself taking his family for granted, but in moments like this, when he really thinks about it, he couldn’t imagine living without them. For all their hardships in life, they are certainly blessed by the world to have each other.

Stormy blue eyes drift into his tired mind. He can’t help but wonder if Kappa has ever had that; a real family. And he thinks, probably not. There’s no way Shredder is a good father, that’s not even a question and he doubts any of the Foot goons have been anything more than competition. The only plausible one left is Karai, but based on the interaction he witnessed between the both of them a while back they seemed more like rivals than family. 

He can’t imagine how lonely that would be. There has to be someone, but then again, his name is Kappa. Of all the things to name him, they chose Kappa. At first, he thought the name may be an attempt to cause psychological fear in enemies. A Japanese demon in the flesh… what’s scarier than that to a human? But now, after the conversation they had on the rooftop and seeing those awful scars, he thinks that maybe the name is a label more than anything, something that’s completely devoid of any emotion or thought. It’s like calling a dog ‘Dog,’ but not in the rhetorical sense, more like a dismissal of that individual, an insult.

No wonder he’s all kinds of fucked up.

Rolling over, Raph forces his mind to focus on something else and falls asleep.

ooo

The next day is unbearably slow. Training was more relaxed since they have a big mission tonight and it was followed by a quick briefing so everyone was on the same page.

Raph spent most of his time taking out his pent up energy on his punching bag, but he eventually tired and, regrettably, joined Mikey and Ice Cream Kitty for one of their improv poker games. It was frustrating to say the very least.

But night did come eventually and the brothers geared up before heading towards the docks. When they arrive, the air is almost eerily still. There’s no sign of any people, which is suspicious, but then again, the last meeting they broke up took hours of watching before anything happened.

So they take up post on the metal roof of a nearby warehouse, staying vigilant for any sound or movement. At exactly midnight, the shadow of a Foot ninja makes its way across the shipping container yard. The ninja isn’t doing a very good job at staying hidden, but then again, they probably think they’re alone. The brothers start to move forward, following the shadow cautiously. In hindsight, they probably should have recognized this for what it was.

Once they’re on the ground and closing in on the ninja, he suddenly stops and turns around. Out of nowhere, more Foot ninja come out of the shadows, weapons drawn.

“Shell,” Raph curses under his breath as he and his brothers get in defensive positions, ready to fight.

“So does this mean Karai lied?” Mikey asks rhetorically, smiling nervously.

“Yeah Mikey, I think it does…” Donnie replies, narrowing his eyes at the slowly advancing enemy ninjas.

Raph fleetingly thinks that this must be how a deer feels in the center of a pack of hungry wolves.

One of the smaller ninjas lunges forward first, ending the tense standoff and starting the fight. The sounds of metal clashing, chains rattling, and wood thunking echo in the otherwise quiet night and the brothers make sure to stay close, if one gets separated, it’ll cause chaos.

These Foot ninja are well-trained, but the brothers are better. If it wasn’t for their sheer numbers, Raph thinks they wouldn’t have to worry about winning this at all. But as it is, he’s defending from all sides. He doesn’t even notice the crack of enemy bones breaking and the sharp exhales and faint cries as he punches, kicks, and stabs. As a fundamental rule, the Hamato clan doesn’t kill unless completely necessary… well, they’re damn near approaching necessary.

It’s by absolute luck that he sees the flash of steel from the corner of his eye in time, turning to catch the blade with his sai. Raph growls at the sight of Kappa. For a second, the two lock eyes, blazing fire and unforgiving ice, exuding absolute hatred for one another. 

As their weapons strain against each other, Raph snarls, “I knew you were a two-faced piece of shit.”

Kappa only smirks at this, “I thought the sob story was worth it, you seemed pathetic enough to try to pity me.”

Raph pushes the mutant back, putting space between them before moving in for an attack. There are no games this time. Both mutants are putting their all into this fight and it shows by the speed and precision of every attack and block. 

Raph can sense the frustration starting to consume him, but he forces it down, he can’t afford to be careless here. While he fights against Kappa, he keeps an eye out for his brothers who are equally occupied at the moment. 

Raph refocuses on his own battle. So far, neither have been able to land any hits. Sure, Kappa has come close to cutting off an arm or decapitating Raph a time or two, but Raph has also delivered some close jabs with his sai. 

His focus is completely shattered, however, when the sound of metal scraping against one of his brother’s plastrons, followed by a surprised yelp and crashing reaches his ears. Risking the chance to see what happened, Raph turns his head and sees Donnie getting up from a heap of broken wooden boxes, already having to defend against other Foot ninja. 

But what he didn’t expect to see, what Raph wishes he hadn’t seen, is the menacing figure of none other than the Shredder.

This fight just got a thousand times more deadly.

Raph’s attention is snapped back to his own fight as Kappa continues to attack. The distraction cost him a few cuts, one in particular bleeding more than the others. Between trying to keep tabs on Shredder and fighting against Kappa, Raph receives more and more injuries. 

Mikey has now joined Don in defending against Shredder and the other ninjas, but it’s obvious they don’t stand a chance. Raph needs to get them out of here. They can’t win and there’s always the possibility that more Foot ninja will show up or even the other mutants. Yeah, they need to go.

“MIKEY!!!!” Donnie screams, and Raph will never forget the horrible sound of utter fear in his brother’s voice.

Raph looks over and makes the split decision to abandon his fight. His baby brother is struggling as he’s lifted from the ground, razor sharp blades aiming for his abdomen.

Raph almost doesn’t make it in time. 

Everything slows as the Shredder’s blades begin cutting through the tough material of Mikey’s plastron, beads of blood starting to surround the punctures. 

Raph does the only thing he can and stabs his sai at Shredder, aiming for the back of his neck, where the helmet and body armor leave a small opening. As expected, Shredder drops Mikey and whirls around on Raph.

In the seconds between Shredder’s attack and Raph’s useless defense, he hyper focuses on his surroundings and hears Donnie as he fumbles for his shell cell, holding his finger on the emergency call button and saying, “Come on, come on!” 

The phone starts to ring and Raph can just barely hear the low sigh of nervous relief.

Then reality hits and everything speeds back up as Raph is shoved back powerfully. He grunts as he lands hard on his shell, looking up just in time to roll and dodge the next attack. 

He gets a glimpse of his brothers as he does this. Mikey is now fighting against the hoard of Foot ninja and Donnie is defending against Kappa.

This isn’t good, this really isn’t good.

From the forgotten phone, the faint answer of, “Hello? ... Donatello?” can be heard before it suddenly hangs up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got some action in the next chapter. Hopefully I can write it well.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I haven’t updated in quite a while. My mental health took a huge fucking nosedive. Anyways, here’s the next chapter, I’ll try to stay more on schedule :)

So far, everything is going according to plan. The turtles were naïve enough to believe Karai, sealing their fate. Now, they’re surrounded by skilled Foot ninja. 

Kappa hadn’t really expected Master to show and worries that his presence is a testament to his distrust in Kappa. 

They have to end this tonight. He can’t fail again.

Fighting against Donatello provides new challenges, there aren’t many ninja who specialize in the bo staff, but it’s clear that his overall skill is greatly lacking. Kappa is easily able to dodge the bo and get within range of attacking. Sure, it probably doesn’t help that Donatello has been fighting for a good half hour and was attacked by Master, but still, Kappa expected better.

It’s obvious that Donatello can’t keep up as Kappa whirls around and slashes the backs of his legs. The other mutant cries out and crouches forwards, almost falling over. This is too easy, he thinks to himself.

He raises his katana, ready to strike the turtle dead when, surprisingly, Donatello fights through the pain and blocks with his bo. He forces Kappa back by twirling the staff to knock off the katana and then jabbing it forward and releasing the naginata blade. 

Kappa takes a moment to observe his enemy before going in again, it seems that Donatello is willing to put up a good fight. Donatello is panting and his face is tight with pain. There’s an unsteadiness to his position, most likely due to the lacerations on the back of his thighs. But underneath the exhaustion and pain, there’s a burning fire that Kappa didn’t expect to see. Donatello’s spirit is strong.

He’ll just have to break it down.

Frowning and tightening his hold on his katana, Kappa rushes the enemy. Donatello was prepared though and defends against each strike, albeit a little clumsily.  
“I don’t know about Raph and Mikey,” Donatello says gasping between blocks, “but I never trusted you, not for a second.”

Kappa grins at this and brings his blade down hard, sinking it into the bo staff, and replies, “I never expected you to trust me, you’re too smart for that,” he pushes further down, slicing further through the tough wood, “the others, though, well, we both know they’re incredibly idiotic and gullible.”

Donatello apparently takes offense to this comment, as Kappa predicted, and pushes forward with his bo, trying to knock Kappa back. 

You see, the trick with Donatello is that you have to keep him from thinking about the situation too much. If you can distract him, maybe even anger him, you can get him to make mistakes like this. Mistakes where he pushes his already breaking bo against the sharp pressure of a katana.

Donatello wasn’t prepared for his bo to snap, but Kappa was.

Unfortunately, Donatello dodged to the left just enough that Kappa’s katana sunk into his right shoulder instead of his face. 

This time, Donatello screams at the deep, sudden cut and falls to the ground. It’s a raw and distressing sound that Kappa knows all too well. He’s been on the other side of a blade too many times to count. 

In the background, Kappa hears Michelangelo’s shouts and Raphael’s failed attempts at defending against Master. This is really too easy.

Yanking his katana from Donatello’s shoulder elicits another pained cry that rings through Kappa’s mind, but it doesn’t matter, soon he won’t feel anything at all.

Kappa curses himself as chain wraps around his katana, abruptly pulling him from Donatello. He whirls around, moving with the pull, and slashes with his free sword. Michelangelo easily dodges and pushes forwards with fury, nunchakus spinning so fast Kappa that can’t really see them.

Kappa can’t remember ever seeing the youngest Hamato angry, but if he’s anything like his brothers, this anger can be used against him. As Kappa attacks, he realizes this is the first time he’s actually faced Michelangelo and the turtle doesn’t disappoint. Of all three, this brother is clearly the fastest and most naturally skilled. 

Fierce blows are traded and blocked. Kappa has to be careful considering those nunchakus will break bone with the force behind them and since he doesn't have that protective shell, he's at even more risk. 

Michelangelo is agile, even with his shell, making it more difficult for Kappa to manipulate his fighting style. Their fight drags on, but the other’s fury doesn’t fade. Michelangelo must be desperate.

The sound of metal against metal and the sharp grunt of his master causes Kappa to look away for just a second. But the second may as well have been minutes with the speed and reaction of Michelangelo’s attack. 

One twirling nunchaku slams into Kappa’s left side, cracking ribs and sending him to the ground. He would have cried out, but his breath had been forced from his lungs. Kappa gasps for air, feeling sharp pain burn through his left side and can just barely hear the sound of footsteps running away.

Kappa growls in anger and compels his body to move, it’s going to take a lot more than that to keep him down.

He focuses his slightly blurred vision on the retreating shell of Michelangelo. It seems as though he’s going to help his brother in red, who is literally covered in red. Kappa sees Donatello defending against Foot ninja with his broken bo from the corner of his eye. In hindsight, Kappa should have gone for Donatello, it would’ve been a sure kill, but he let his anger and hurt pride take over.

Shaking his head to clear his vision, Kappa rushes after Michelangelo. It doesn’t take long for him to catch up. 

He shoves his blades forwards, cutting into the soft flesh of Michelangelo’s arm. The other mutant shouts and turns to defend, but he’s not fast enough. Kappa kicks him to the ground, taking pleasure in the sharp grunt of pain the action elicits. 

He’s not going to fuck up this time.

Kappa brings his katana down, but Michelangelo holds up one of his nunchaku just in time to keep both blades from sinking in. Kappa growls at this, grinding his teeth together, and puts his weight on the two katana. He can see the growing panic in Michelangelo’s eyes, his right arm is shaking and the metal of the chain is starting to bend inwards. 

This is it. Kappa’s finally going to kill one of the Hamatos and prove to Master that he’s capable and trustworthy. 

The strain of having to push against Kappa’s blades is becoming too much and a fearful recognition that 'I’m going to die' has taken hold of Michelangelo.

Kappa shouts as he gives one final push, his blades mere millimeters from cutting Michelangelo’s face in half. Michelangelo yells back in desperation, grunting from the effort to keep Kappa back.

He feels the sudden release as Michelangelo’s muscles give out and his katana fall forward. He doesn’t remember what happens next.

All he knows is that one second, his swords are diving forwards to eliminate the enemy and the next, he’s crying out at the sensation of a whip flaying his skin open, the power behind it sending his body slamming into a metal shipping container. 

He lays crumpled in agony with his eyes held firmly shut. Breathing is almost impossible and his left side is screaming where the new laceration accompanies his already broken ribs. 

Slowly, carefully, Kappa opens his eyes. His vision is dark around the edges and blurred, but he can see the vague shapes of the turtles. Donatello and Michelangelo are surrounded by black shadows and Raphael is laying on the ground, motionless. 

Kappa hears the snap of that whip slashing against metal. His eyes focus in on the sound, the motion making his head hurt. As he concentrates on the two figures fighting alone, his vision starts to clear and he wheezes a sharp gasp.

There, battling against Master, is Hamato Yoshi. 

Once again, the sound of that whip cracking against metal resounds in the shipping yard, causing Kappa to instinctually flinch. When he opens his eyes again, he realizes what is producing the sound. It’s not a whip, it’s the rat’s tail. But that tail may as well be a whip with all of that power behind it.

He tries moving so that he can rejoin the fight, but quickly realizes that moving is a bad idea. Pain shoots through his body, pulling a long whine from him and causing him to lay back down. 

He’s not going to be able to get up. 

Trying not to breathe too deeply, Kappa watches the fray. Master’s losing. Kappa fucked up… again. 

Shit.

His vision is getting darker, his mind more unfocused. He knows this feeling well. He’s going to pass out. 

It’s almost comforting, but the fear of what will happen when he wakes up haunts his fading consciousness.

ooo

He doesn’t remember passing out. He also doesn’t remember being carried from the battle field or wheeled into the infirmary, but here he is. Laying on one of the hospital-grade beds, the sound of Stockman’s buzzing wings and quiet mumbling filling his muddled mind. 

He’s quickly reminded, however, of the pain in his left side. It’s more of a dull pain now instead of the sharp, stabbing agony it was before, most likely due to medication. Looking down, he sees thick bandages tied around his midsection that are tinged light pink in the center. 

He remembers the broken ribs and the sensation of being shredded by the rat master’s tail. He failed. He really failed again.

Perhaps it’s the drugs messing with him or the dull, nagging pain in his side that just won’t go away or maybe it’s the notion of what this all means that makes his eyes start to water and his breathing uneven.

His plan was supposed to be fool-proof. Where did he go so wrong? 

“Ah, you’re awake~,” Dr. Stockman says in his shaky fly voice, head twitching every now and then. 

Kappa blinks the tears from his eyes and focuses on the doctor.

“Masssster Shhredder issss quite upssset,” he continues while turning away to look at his charts, “it seemsss that you lossst the battle~.” 

Kappa looks away from the grotesque mutant, concentrating on the ceiling instead. So they did lose. There had been a small sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe they had won, but he should know better than to hope.

The fly-man shuffles around, the buzz of his wings piercing Kappa’s thoughts and drawing his attention as he says, “There’s ssssome broken ribsss, about four, and quite the gash above them, but that sshhould make ssssurgery eassssssssssier.”

Surgery? he thinks to himself, but must have spoken out loud because Stockman responds, “Oh yessss, ssssurgery~ one of the ribsss neeedsss to be stabilizzzzzed.”  
Kappa breaks eye contact with the twitching mutant, his mind whirling. 

He should have predicted the next words Dr. Stockman says, but there was that awful, creeping hope again. No matter though, because after those next words, all hope shriveled and died.

“You’re to visssit Mr. Bisshhhop.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a shorter chapter, but hopefully you enjoyed. Also, I never knew so many words had ‘s’ in them… Stockman’s speech is so annoying to write :(


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I feel bad that there was literally two weeks of nothing I’m updating a day sooner than I usually would.

Raph woke up about three days later. 

He doesn’t remember much of the big fight besides the overwhelming sense that they were all going to die. But... here he is, alive. 

Master Splinter gave him the run down when he was good enough to actually comprehend what anyone was saying. They had barely made it out, but with the only real threats being Shredder and the few Foot ninja left standing. Sensei and Mikey were able to wrap it up and safely carry Raph and Donnie home. 

Besides the several new bruises, Don’s legs are slashed badly and his right shoulder is torn up. He’ll have to take it easy and will be laid up for a while as his legs heal. Mikey apparently escaped with a scratch on his plastron and a deep cut in his bicep. Otherwise, he’s pretty much fine. Splinter’s relying on his cane a little more than usual, but overall everyone will be alright after a couple weeks, except, that is, for Raph.

It seems that Raph himself is the one that got hurt the worst during the battle. Amongst the many cuts and bruises all over his body, he can look forward to a mild concussion, a broken wrist and a new scar forming above his left brow. Don had told him when he first woke up that if Shredder had cut any deeper, he’d have gone through the bone as well.

As it is though, Raph is only on bedrest for one week, probably less if he has any say in it, and then he’ll be well on his way to recovery. For now, he just has to deal with feeling like a living mummy. All things considered though, they got damn lucky.

Raph spends the day, like the last two, laying on the makeshift hospital bed and listening to the sounds of the sewer and his family. Donnie’s typing away on a keyboard on the bed to his left and Mikey is on the spare bed playing with some action figures on his right. 

When Raph had first woken up, Splinter had spent the day with him in their ‘infirmary,’ but now he only visits occasionally to check on his sons. 

You’d think that laying around and doing nothing would be relaxing, like a break from all the chaos, but no. It's very boring and the noises Mikey is making to imitate flying and fighting are getting on Raph’s last nerve. This has been going on for hours.

The bed he’s on is close to the door… and Don and Mike are too invested in what they’re doing to notice if Raph slips out…

No, just breathe. It’s not that bad.

Raph closes his eyes and tries to shut out the noise, but this only seems to make the clacking keyboard louder and the sounds of ‘Fhwuunnn!’ and ‘Bapbapbap’ more irritating. Raph can feel his fists tightening and face involuntarily grimacing at the effort to stay calm. 

He's been able to put up with this for a while now, he can handle a few more days. But… he was hardly able to move at all these past days, he just woke up this morning for crying out loud. They already established that he could get to the bathroom without any help. So, if he really had to, he could just get up and leave-

“Vrooooommmvrrroooooo-Ah! No, Silver Sentry, help me!” Mikey suddenly exclaims in a high-pitched voice, waving around his figurine of Battling Bernice. 

All right, that’s it, Raph thinks to himself as he carefully and very quietly gets up and leaves the lab. As expected, there were no calls of ‘Wait!’ or ‘Where are you going, you’re still on bedrest!’ His brothers are much too occupied. 

Raph rests against the wall and inhales and exhales deeply for a few seconds, allowing the pain in his body to ease before moving to his destination. Ever since he woke up, he’s felt as though he needed to talk to Splinter, however, that’s hard to do with two younger brothers stuck to your side, not to mention that it’s already hard enough for Raph to reach out to people.

So once the pain subsides to something more tolerable, Raph slowly makes his way to his father’s room. 

As he approaches the sliding doors, there’s a knot of dread forming in his stomach and he can’t help but sigh. He’s entered this room with shame so many times before that the feeling seems to permanently accompany him when he stands before this door. It never matters how hard he tries, he always disappoints his father and that disappointment is worse than any anger or punishment. 

But he isn’t coming here to apologize for hurting Mike or to tell Splinter he broke his favorite teacup. No, he’s here to discuss Kappa. Raph has questions and Splinter is the only person he knows that may be able to answer the questions he’s about to ask.

“Enter, my son,” Splinter says in a low timbre. 

Raph only jumps slightly, wincing at the motion, before he opens the sliding shoji door and enters.

The familiar smell of incense floods his senses. The room is small, but warm and comfortable. Splinter is kneeling on his zabuton, his eyes closed and aged face calm. Raph slides the shoji closed behind him and then carefully sits in front of his father. Getting himself down to the floor is definitely difficult considering his injuries and he doesn’t even want to think about what trying to stand is going to feel like, but he needs to talk to Splinter. This has been put off for too long.

Raph waits as Splinter opens his eyes and smiles slightly at his son. 

“I did not expect to see you so soon. What is on your mind Raphael?” he asks.

Raph allows himself to think about what he wants to say and how. He doesn’t want to start accusing Splinter of anything, but something hasn’t been adding up for weeks now. Not, ever since Kappa mysteriously showed up.

A certain doubt has been growing in his mind concerning the other mutant turtle. Raph was sure that it had always been him and his brothers, but ever since that rooftop discussion with Kappa, his resolve has been crumbling. 

The problem is, however, that there’s no way Splinter would ever lose one of them, right? And even if he did, why wouldn’t he exhaust every possible resource to find his son? Why wouldn’t he tell them?

Raph can’t look at his father as he says, “Is Kappa our brother?” And there it is, the blunt question that’s been circling Raph’s mind. Sheepishly, he looks up at his father, trying to gauge his reaction. 

A moment of silence passes between the two. Splinter’s head drops a little lower and a low sigh leaves his mouth. 

Raph waits with baited breath, his thoughts already swirling, even without a verbal reply, that kind of reaction is not what Raph had expected. No, he expected Splinter to smile, maybe even shake his head a little at the foolishness of his son. Not this… reluctance, this defeated look on his face.

“That same question had been on my mind for quite some time now,” he says, “but his existence is far too much for mere coincidence.” 

Splinter looks off to the side, a kind of nostalgia forming in his eyes as he folds his hands in his lap. Raph starts to fear what is going to be said next, wishing he had never opened his big mouth. That he had never come here in the first place.

Finally meeting his own deep brown eyes to Raphael’s brilliant green, Splinter adds, “There is something I must tell you and your brothers Raphael.”

Raph doesn’t wait for him to continue, Splinter may as well have said ‘yes, he is your brother,’ with that cryptic answer. Without actually saying it, he just confirmed one of Raph’s worst fears… so before Splinter can say anything else, Raph interrupts, wanting something more straightforward because he can’t handle any more doubt, “You mean he is our brother? What the hell Sensei, why didn’t you tell us?!” 

Anger and shocked disbelief cloud Raph’s mind as he clenches his fists and leans forward slightly, glaring at Splinter and demanding an answer. He never curses in front of Splinter, he knows better and respects his father. Now, however, he feels as if he doesn’t know this man. How could he keep something so important a secret? How could he lose one of his sons and just forget about him? 

Raph feels tears forming in his eyes at the thoughts that are occupying his mind. He feels so hurt… but it’s nothing compared to the hurt their supposed brother has gone through because of the man who swore to protect them.

In the back of his mind, Raph recognizes the irony of the situation. Here he is, the tables turned as he quietly seethes and his father subtly shrinks with shame.

Splinter doesn’t give Raph a direct answer though, instead he calmly replies, “Perhaps we should have the rest of this conversation with Donatello and Michelangelo present. I have some things I must confess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews/comments are much appreciated! I read every single one of them and they always motivate me to write more!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I want you guys on AO3 to be caught up with FFN I'm posting the next chapter. I suppose you can think of it as a gift??? I don't fucking know, anyways, as always I hope you enjoy!

Of course it’s raining, or maybe torrentially downpouring is the proper terminology. 

As Kappa limps down to Bishop’s lab, passing by the floor to ceiling windows, the sound of rain hitting the side of the building is deafening. Usually, he loves the patter of rain against the windows. It drowns out the sounds of headquarters and gives him a quiet place to meditate or provides white noise for sleep. Right now though, it seems more like an oppressive, foreboding rhythm than a calming beat and the occasional rumble of thunder reminds him of a death knell more than anything.

There’s a deep-seated fear weighing down his chest. However, this fear isn’t something he’s annoyed by, no, it actually makes sense for him to dread coming down here. He’s never left this lab without a new scar, physically or mentally.

There are no guards accompanying him to the lab. When he was younger, around 13 or so, and testing his position within the clan, he probably would’ve refused to come down here. Then, instead of simply walking himself, he’d be dragged down the halls, kicking and yelling. But he’s grown up since then, he’s learned to understand and accept his place.

As he rounds the last corner and the metal sliding doors come into sight, he can’t help but to reflect on what lead him here. It’s his own fault that he’s approaching his worst nightmare. His plan was supposed to be infallible, but somehow, the Hamato’s found a way out. He can understand why Karai hasn’t been able to kill any of them yet.

He knows he shouldn’t be mad at the Hamato’s for simply surviving, it’s what any living being would try to do, but it’s hard not to resent them, especially when they’ve caused him so much strife. Now, because they’re alive, Kappa is injured and, although it wasn’t explicitly stated, he knows that this is punishment for his failure.

The door automatically slides open as he limps forwards. Kappa makes sure his limping is less noticeable; he doesn’t want to give Bishop reason to do any more than necessary.

Entering the wide open laboratory that almost takes up an entire floor, Kappa tries not to focus on the rows of tables and equipment with various objects sprawled around. There are plenty of scientists here working on their projects that range from water quality testing to human and animal dissection and experimentation. 

The feeling of eyes staring at him, as though he’s a walking experiment just waiting to be cut into, makes his skin crawl and sets him on edge. He wants to get in and out of here as soon as possible.

Finally approaching the door to Bishop’s personal lab, Kappa stands before the face scanner and waits. A stereotypical green laser suddenly emits from the small black panel beside the door and moves over his face. Once the green light disappears, a soft beep sounds and the mechanisms within the door unlock to allow it to slide open.

Kappa slowly enters the room and immediately feels more anxious, as if all of the emotions he’s been trying to push down are suddenly rising to the forefront. He makes sure to straighten up as much as possible and to smooth his features out to apparent indifference.

Along the walls, skeletons and jars of specimen adorn the rows of shelves. There are several cages within the lab, occupied by humans and animals alike. Involuntarily, Kappa’s eyes drift to the glass case enclosing his shell. It’s small, but then again, he was only six when it was taken, and is cut so that it’s in two halves. It’s a strange thing, to see something that was once a part of your body displayed like some scientific trophy.

He’s gone so long without a shell though that he really can’t imagine having one anymore. Sure the security of knowing you have that layer of protection is something he misses, but there are some advantages. He’ll never fully accept this modification, but at least he can live with it.

Besides the unsettling specimens spread about the lab and the multiple dissection tables with scientists actively slicing, Kappa notices Bishop standing in front of his usual work bench with his two best assistants.

Kappa approaches cautiously, he doesn’t want to say anything and risk disrupting whatever Bishop is doing. One of Bishop’s assistants lifts their head, looking in his direction. He’s an older man and the hardness in his eyes suggests that he’s displeased to see Kappa, probably because he’s interrupting their work. This movement causes the other assistant as well as Bishop himself to turn their attention to Kappa.

Lowering his face mask with a bloodied glove, Bishop smirks and Kappa freezes. He hasn’t been here, in this forsaken room, since he left for Japan. The memories come flooding back and he can feel his heart rate pick up.

“Well, look at this gentlemen,” Bishop says coyly in his deep, emotionless voice, “M-004 has finally been sent to my lab.”

There it is. M-004, the label that the scientists use to identify him. Here, he has no name, just a letter followed by some numbers.

The assistants set their equipment down and as the one closest to Kappa turns, he catches a glimpse of the torso on the work bench, electrodes and wires sticking out all over it. He tries not to feel disturbed by it, it’s not like he hasn’t seen a dismembered torso before, but the fact that he’s about to be laying on a table under the scalpel of the same men is unsettling.

Turning away from Kappa, Bishop doesn’t wait for him to follow as he heads for the operation room. Kappa trails behind reluctantly, trying not to breathe too sharply. It seems the pain medication is starting to wear off and each breath causes his broken ribs to shift and the laceration across his side to expand. 

He can also feel the pain in his back starting to flare up again. He’s successfully been able to ignore it for days now, but after getting knocked around during the fight, it seems that it’s gotten worse.

Kappa doesn’t waste any time and moves over to the table, wincing slightly as he lifts himself up and sits on the edge, waiting for the attendants to get him ready. Bishop disappears from view but is most likely looking over the x-rays Stockman sent him of his ribcage. Kappa can only hope that Bishop doesn’t notice anything wrong with his spine while he looks at the x-rays. 

On either side, the assistants are setting up equipment. A few moments later, they start assisting him in removing the hospital gown and the bandages on his chest so that it’s left completely bare.

Finally, he receives the instruction to lay down and complies immediately, lifting his legs up and slowly lowering himself back on the cold metal table. He feels the sting of needles piercing his skin and closes his eyes as the soft, silicone anesthetic mask is placed on his face. The electrodes of a heart monitor are placed on various areas of his chest. The image of the torso from earlier jumps into his mind. 

He hears the beeps of the monitor and the sound of gas pushing through the thick tubing of his mask. Any moment now he’ll fall into that deep, dreamless sleep that makes him feel as though he’s suspended in some kind of purgatory. Being under anesthesia isn’t pleasant at all.

He can hear Bishop giving orders to the assistants, but he isn’t focusing on that right now. Instead, Kappa is tuned in to the electrifying pain of his broken ribs and the deep cut over them being prodded and pulled apart. They really aren’t wasting any time here. He isn’t even groggy yet and they’re already getting started.

Every fiber of his being is screaming at him to get out of here before it’s too late, but he can’t listen to that irrational part of his mind. If he got up and attempted to leave, he wouldn’t even be able to escape Bishop’s lab. Not only due to the increasing amounts of anesthesia coursing through his body, but also because the face scanner will allow him in, but it won’t let him out. He has to be escorted or wheeled out of the lab. 

The beeping of the heart monitor picks up before steadily getting slower, signaling that Kappa is finally losing consciousness. He doesn’t want to go under… What if he never wakes up again? Or worse, what if he does and something went terribly wrong? He’d probably be put into a coma and have his non-essential organs harvested.

“Scalpel,” he hears Bishop say almost distantly, feeling his body go lax and his mind going dark.

ooo

The sound of a voice, warbled and far away, pulls Kappa from the strong lull of unconsciousness. He makes the mistake of trying to open his eyes and immediately shuts them, face scrunching up in displeasure from the sudden brightness.

The face mask is no longer over his snout, allowing him to breathe without inhaling that stale anesthetic gas. He belatedly becomes aware that his mouth is extremely dry and his throat feels scratchy. Upon trying to inhale deeply, he realizes that his chest feels tight. Thankfully, he doesn’t feel any pain right now.

His entire body is still numb from the anesthesia. He tries opening his eyes again, this time slower and sees dark shadows hovering above him. More words are passed between the figures and he can’t quite pick up on what they’re saying. 

He’s so tired… he just wants to go back to sleep. Although part of him wants to stay awake, his eyes are just too heavy. He lets them fall closed.

ooo

“-aking up now,” he hears as he finally starts to regain consciousness.

Once again, Kappa tries to open his eyes and immediately regrets it as a bright light is shined directly at them. 

“Open your eyes,” a gruff voice says. He turns his head to ignore it, but the addition of a firm hand on his jaw signals that this is an order.

Reluctantly, Kappa forces his eyes open to the intrusive penlight. Apparently getting the result he wanted, the man releases Kappa’s jaw and clicks the light off. 

Kappa blinks the bright spots remaining in his vision away and then takes in his surroundings. He’s no longer in the operation room, instead, he’s in the observation cell. At least here, he’s actually laying on a bed and not that slab of metal.

Here, the head of the bed is pushed up against the only solid wall, the other three are one-way mirrors and the only door is directly in front of him. The cell is small, just big enough to allow the equipment to fit snuggly and a person to walk on either side of the bed.

He hates being able to see his reflection staring back at him. There are dark circles under his eyes and he looks like death. 

The man from earlier is still in the room. He’s short and balding and seems like he’s in a hurry to get back to something else. He approaches Kappa again and this time removes the IV from his left hand. He doesn’t wince as the needle is roughly removed, but the sting of it does suddenly make him aware that he can feel things again. 

The man removes any remaining wires and electrodes from Kappa’s body and then makes a quick exit, mumbling to himself angrily.

Over the next few hours, feeling really starts to come back to his body. There’s a throbbing in his chest that becomes a sharp pain every time he breathes and there’s a dull ache in his back that wasn’t there before. 

His toes are tingling with the sensation of pins and needles, which is weird because that only happens when… Oh... 

They must have worked on his spine. 

Now he’s going to be bed ridden for at least a week. He’s really going to be stuck here, in this tiny cell, for seven long days at the very least. 

That’s not good.

Within his chest, his heart picks up the pace and he can feel his hands getting cold and clammy. They’re probably going to run tests while he’s down here. They’ll probably even conduct some “minor” surgeries…

His worst fear is actually happening right now. He’s stuck here, he can’t leave. He’s going to be used as an experiment again.

Tears start to well up in Kappa’s eyes and he glares at his reflection. How could he do this to himself? He’s so worthless.

The door in front of him opens and the last person he ever wants to see steps in. Bishop, dressed in his signature suit approaches the side of his bed and smirks down at him.

“I’ll save you the boring details, but we have a lot of work to do on this body.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh goodness…poor Leo. He needs out of this.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof…

All three of his sons are sat before him. The two youngest seem wary and confused, the eldest is just barely containing his anger. Splinter didn’t think he’d ever have this conversation with his sons. No, this is something that was never supposed to happen.

“Well?” Raphael says, impatient to hear his explanation.

Sighing, Splinter closes his eyes for just a moment and breathes deeply. He knows this is going to change his family forever.

He opens his eyes slowly, taking in the faces of his young sons. A stab of sorrow shoots through his chest as he thinks about the child he failed so long ago.

“My sons, it seems that your previous suspicions were right,” Michelangelo and Donatello only look more lost, so Splinter adds, “The other mutant turtle, the one called Kappa, is indeed your brother.”

Gasps are followed by widened eyes and open mouths. Only Raphael doesn’t seem surprised, instead, his fists are shaking with rage.

“We really do have another brother?” Michelangelo speaks up, a certain amount of fear and hope battling to be displayed in his brilliant blue eyes.

“Yes, Michelangelo, you do,” Splinter answers, still thinking about how exactly he wants to explain all of this.

“But… how Sensei? I mean, how do you know for sure that he’s our brother?” Donatello asks, inquisitive and hesitant.

It is just like Donatello to ask for more details. “I’m going to tell you three something that I had never expected to discuss. I would appreciate your silence while I explain.” Michelangelo and Donatello both nod, Raphael only frowns deeper, but doesn’t voice any disagreement.

“When I was human, I had, in fact, purchased four turtles. I had named them Raphael, Michelangelo, Donatello,” he says slowly, glancing at each son, “and, finally, Leonardo. Once we were mutated, I raised you boys for two wonderful years,” he pauses, thinking back to the days when his family was complete. 

Splinter can tell that his sons are impatient, but this is something he can’t rush. He has to take his time in discussing this matter, because not only is it complicated, but it is also something that makes his heart ache terribly. To think that all this time, one of his sons was in the hands of Saki…

“The Kraang had discovered our home at the time and I was forced to gather you four and seek refuge elsewhere.” His mind takes him back to that day. It had been late at night, the children were fast asleep and things seemed quiet in their little home, which consisted of a shed on the roof of an abandoned apartment complex.

One of the children had woken up crying, Michelangelo if he remembers correctly. The droids must have been nearby because suddenly there were lights and lasers beaming through the rotted wooden panels. 

The calm night instantly erupted into high-pitched whines, powerful blasts, and screaming children. He had gathered the boys quickly, Michelangelo had already jumped into his arms and the others had scurried to a corner of the shed. 

Once he had all four secure, he escaped through one of the gaping holes the Kraang droids had blasted into the walls. He remembers feeling fear at leaving behind his family’s belongings and his own most cherished possessions, but the continued crying of Michelangelo and the feel of small hands gripping his robe tightly pushed him to forget those material things. Of course, he had eventually gone back and gathered what had survived the attack.

Splinter hadn’t known where to go. They had just settled at this new home and he hadn’t had time to scout out the next one. So he ran across the rooftops of New York without direction.

As he ran aimlessly, he dodged steel fists and heated guns. Splinter remembers the searing pain from one of the lasers grazing his shoulder. He had stumbled and the children had cried out. Then something had happened that he’s never forgiven himself for.

“During the chase, I had been grazed by a weapon. This caused me to lose my balance…” Splinter is focused on the ground now and as much as he tries to remain calm and collected, he knows for sure that his sons can see the sorrow in his features.

He sighs deeply, not wanting to continue this conversation, but knowing its importance. He looks at his sons and says, “I dropped Leonardo.”

There are sharp inhales attesting to their shock and he can see his own sadness mirrored in their eyes. “I had been crossing from one roof to another and when I was shot, my body reacted involuntarily. Leonardo slipped from my grip and fell three stories to the alleyway below.”

Memories of time slowing while his two year old child fell to the asphalt so far below haunt his thoughts. He remembers the sound of Leonardo’s small, fragile body cracking as it made contact with the unforgiving ground. 

Splinter had immediately skidded to a halt on the other rooftop, turning swiftly to go get his son. Again he dodged the droids, catapulting over the side of the building and scaling down the escape ladder. 

There was a brief moment, just a second, in which he had caught sight of Leonardo’s body. He wasn’t moving. From where Splinter had been on the last ladder, he couldn’t tell if his son was breathing or not. All he knew was that there was blood and his son wasn’t moving.

He was close, he was so close, but when he was finally able to reach the ground, he was already too late. The Kraang had marched down the alley, completely shielding Leonardo’s little body from view. 

The whine of their guns heating up made Splinter’s heart stop. He took the chance to look down at his other sons. They were tucked close to his chest, clinging to him. Both Raphael and Michelangelo had their faces hidden in his robe, but Donatello was peaking up at him, seeming to plead with him to get them to safety. Of course, at two years old, even Donatello couldn’t fully understand the situation, but Splinter had felt as though his brightest son was trying to tell him that there was no way he could save both Leonardo and his other sons.

It was the hardest decision he has ever made… 

“I was forced to leave Leonardo behind so that I could get us to a safe place. Once I had escaped the Kraang and got you three to settle down, I risked going back to find Leonardo.”

It had taken hours to get his terrified sons to calm even the slightest bit. They had been unable to sleep that night and convincing the toddlers that he had to leave them for a few minutes was nearly impossible.

When they finally calmed enough for him to leave, Splinter had rushed back to where Leonardo fell. The whole way all he could hear was his heart in his ears, the sound of his harsh breath, and the sickening crack of his son hitting the ground.

It didn’t take him long to get to the alleyway that should have had his son lying unconscious in it, but he must’ve taken too long consoling the others.

As fate would have it, Leonardo was gone. The only thing left to indicate that he was ever there was the blood stain, still drying in the center. He had searched for as long as he could before he had to return to his remaining family.

For years Splinter had searched for Leonardo, but had never had any luck. He knew in his heart that Leonardo had died that night and, eventually, he had accepted that, but what he couldn’t accept was that he never found his body.

Perhaps the saddest part of the whole ordeal was that after a few years, even Donatello had forgotten he ever had a fourth brother. It was as though Leonardo never existed.

But… Splinter still has one reminder of his lost son.

He stands and moves to grab a small wooden box from the shelf behind him, saying “As you know, I never did find him.” 

He carefully places the box on the ground and lifts the thin lid. Reaching in, Splinter slowly pulls out Leonardo’s blue bandana. It’s incredibly small and ever so slightly tattered with age.

“This was to be Leonardo’s mask,” he says solemnly. 

He was supposed to gift this mask to Leonardo as he had gifted the other three their masks at the age of seven, when they began their journey as ninjas. He had taken care to gather bandanas that would reflect each child’s personality. There had been a great sense of pride when he picked out the bandanas for each on their first birthday.

Splinter can feel the beginnings of tears forming in the corners of his eyes. He doesn’t understand how Leonardo could have survived that fall. Who took his son? What had brought him to the Foot?

Questions of his son's fate had consumed his mind for a long time. However, as most things do with time, the loss of his son hurt less and as his family grew and changed, he thought less and less of Leonardo. Eventually, he had allowed himself to forget… and that is now his biggest regret.

During their recent battle, Saki had made a snide remark about Kappa, about failed fathers and forsaken sons. At first, Splinter hadn’t understood what Saki was talking about, but then the realization had cut through him. 

His eyes had wandered over to the form lying still by a metal shipping container and the recognition of who it was left him breathless. There, laying only 30 feet away had been his lost son. 

Michelangelo breaks the tense silence that had settled among the four, “So…. Now what?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like there aren’t many fics w/ Splinter POV, but then again, he is a pain to write :/ 
> 
> Also, I’m sure you can tell by the amount of time between uploads, but this chapter was such a struggle… I think it’s because of Splinter…. No more of his POV lol
> 
> UPDATE: I'm finally able to start writing again, expect a new chapter shortly :)


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit man, it’s been a while…. Sorry everyone, I won’t bore you with the details, but just know that I had to be away. That said, I am superrrrrr excited to continue writing this. Also, I’m upping the rating to M, I think that’s been long overdue.

It's been four days… only four days, but it feels like it’s been forever. Time passes so slow here and the constant drugging leaves him disoriented and nauseous.

Laying in this bed, in this cell masked as a recovery room, and knowing that his every move is being watched has him on edge. Every waking moment is spent trying to maintain his composure. He hasn’t felt this consistently anxious in a long time and knowing that he’s here all alone, relying on the mercy of a sadistic monster, has Kappa wishing for that comfort of unconsciousness.

He doesn’t even know exactly what all has been done to his body. Kappa knows they inserted metal plates for two of his broken ribs, apparently, they had practically been shattered by Michelangelo’s nunchakus. He also knows that the deep laceration from the rat’s tail has been stitched, it still pulls uncomfortably with every breath. Lastly, there’s that dull pain radiating from his back and travelling down to his feet, leaving his lower half tingling with pins and needles. 

It doesn’t take a genius to know they did something back there, but what, exactly, Kappa has no clue. Of course, his spine had been causing him pain and discomfort before coming down here, so one would think that the intrusion was simply to fix anything that may have been out of order, but he’s learned through too many surgeries that Bishop never leaves it at that. 

He’s also learned not to ask. Bishop and his assistants take way too much pleasure in describing things in gruesome detail.

So he’ll just have to wait. Wait for who knows how many more days until he can get out of here.

The door across from him opens and closes, the soft chink of it closing drawing him from his thoughts. It’s a woman, he hasn’t seen her for a while. She’s small, fragile-looking, with mousy brown hair tied into a low ponytail. Of all the lab assistants that come to check in on him, she is the most difficult to read.

Practically all of them have an aura of sick interest in him. Some are aggressive with him, some even gentle, but all of them have that underlying curiosity which leaves no doubts regarding their true intent; they all want to dissect him, see what makes him tick.

But this woman… there’s nothing. No cruel smiles or careful touches, just a complete indifference Kappa has no idea how to handle.

She approaches him and pulls out a pen light from white coat. “Follow the light,” she says and flashes it in his eyes. He does as told and blinks the spots from his eyes afterwards.

Returning the light to her chest pocket, she removes her stethoscope from around her neck and instructs him to sit up. It’s not easy, especially considering his mind is still groggy, but he manages to comply. When she tells him to breath deeply, he inwardly sighs. It’s gotten slightly easier to perform this specific task, but it still leaves him struggling to conceal the agony that rips through his left side.

Seemingly satisfied, she replaces the stethoscope around her neck. Kappa can’t help but think how easy it would be to snap it. But then what, he can’t exactly leave, even if he wanted to.

As he goes to lay back down, she suddenly barks, “No, stay up,” and he freezes before sitting up straight again. She circles around to his back and his heart jumps. He can’t really see her, she’s too far out of his peripherals and this vulnerability is unbearable. 

A sudden, sharp pain causes Kappa to gasp and jerk away, but a surprisingly firm hand grasps his shoulder and holds him in place, “Don’t move,” she says, still as apathetic as ever. 

He tries to do as told, he really does, but she is literally digging into the thin flesh that lies over his spine. 

“I said,” she starts sternly, the pressure on his shoulder increasing to a vice-like grip and whatever she’s using to bore into his body digging deeper, “don’t move.” Kind of hard to do when you can feel something tearing through the skin and muscles of your back, he thinks darkly, forcing himself to stay still.

After what seems like ages, she finally pulls back. He shouldn’t look, he knows he shouldn’t look, but there’s a terrified desire to know what was going on. So, he turns his head to get a better look at her.

He almost throws up.

Maggots… writhing, plump-on-his-flesh maggots. She’s placing fucking maggots from his back into a little jar.

His mind is whirling so much that it takes him a moment to realize that he completely let his guard down. His eyes catch hers and he scrambles to put his walls back up.

She smirks, she actually smirks at him, as she says, “Some of the rotatores muscles of your spine were beginning to decay within the thoracic region. These,” she holds up the jar and shakes it for emphasis, “were simply cleaning it out.”

Is that supposed to make him feel better about having fly larvae in his body? No, he thinks, she knows exactly what she’s doing, she’s intentionally terrorizing him. 

“Of course,” she begins as she moves around him, subtly making sure the jar is within his field of vision, “we could have simply removed the affected muscle ourselves.” 

He suddenly hit by an intense hatred; he absolutely hates this woman. More than any of the other ruthless freaks down here. Almost as much as he hates Bishop.  
“But where’s the fun in that?” she asks innocently.

As she leaves through the door, taking her freedom entirely for granted, Kappa struggles to keep the tears forming in the corners of his eyes from slipping down his face.

ooo

It took a total of nine days. Nine agonizingly long days before he was finally released from the observation room. It took every ounce of self-control to not just run as fast as he could from that place, regardless of how much it would hurt his still-healing body.

Now, in the relative safety of his room, Kappa fights his overwhelming emotions. All of the fear and horror of the last week and a half come bubbling up in waves that shake his entire body. Short sobs crawl up his throat and come out as wet gasps. 

Words can’t describe how scared he was being back down there. 

And it was all because of them. Those stupid turtles and their mangy father. Because of them, he’s been suffering, he was forced to be in a place that continues to traumatize him. And he still hasn’t seen Master since the fight. Who knows what additional punishments are waiting for him?

Kappa angrily wipes tears from his face with shaky hands and growls at his weakness. He’s better than this. He should be so much better than this. 

His entire life has been one big traumatic event, why is he breaking down now? He failed and now he needs to face the consequences. He can try to blame the Hamatos as much as he wants, but Kappa knows deep down that it wasn’t them that caused the Foot to lose that battle, no, it was him. 

He was too weak, flawed. He deserves this. He needs to make amends and if this how, then he’ll take whatever is given to him.

He takes one last trembling breath before forcing his tired body to stand from where he had been sitting on his futon.

With a new resolve that leaves his face a mask of stone, he makes his way to throne room. There’s no point delaying the inevitable and Master is inevitable. No, he needs to repent and prove his value again.

As he makes his way with new purpose down those haunting corridors that scream with old memories, his mind drifts to the Hamatos and only one thought plays on a loop.

He’s going to kill them. And he’s going to make it bloody.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so, important note… We have fanart!!!!!!! Like holy shit, Kitsune1818, you’re a fucking badass!!!! I absolutely love your design and interpretation, you did SUCH a good job, now excuse me while I cry :’]
> 
> You can find Kitsune's wonderful art here:  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/29375925


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got a Donnie chapter for ya’ll, briefly ft. April.

It’s been two weeks since that, as Raph would say, Foot bastard sliced the backs of his legs and stabbed him in the shoulder. Thanks to his superior mutant healing, the deep cuts on Donnie’s legs have already healed to thin lines that hardly bleed anymore and he’s no longer wearing the arm brace that kept his injured shoulder from jostling around.

It’s also been two weeks since Splinter dropped that metaphorical bomb on them. 

Kappa, or should he call him Leonardo?, is their brother. Maybe not by blood, none of them are actually blood brothers, but he was meant to be their brother. That kill-crazy Shredder loyalist that tried to murder Donnie and his family… 

Raph has, understandably, been furious with Splinter, he doesn’t often voice his displeasure of course, but the glares and heated punching bag sessions are testament enough. What’s interesting though, is the confusion Raph clearly has about this whole ordeal. On the one hand, Donnie knows Raph doesn’t trust Kappa, but there’s doubt on the other. Splinter, for his credit, hasn’t chided Raph yet for his subtle challenges. Donnie supposes this is because he feels guilty, even though he’d never say it.

And Mikey… well, Mikey’s just Mikey. At first, he was hell bent on finding Kappa, but that started quickly fading after days of complete silence from the Foot, Raph’s burn-through-your-soul glares and Donnie’s own opposition to the idea.

No, Donnie thinks to himself, they don’t need another brother. Certainly not one that is as unpredictable and heartless as Kappa.

“Hey Dee,” a tentative voice asks from the doorway to his lab, drawing Donnie from his absent-minded thoughts. Turning in his chair and lifting his safety goggles, Donnie glances back and sees Mikey, frowning and cautious. His hands are clasped together in front of him and his body language conveys his nervousness. Donnie already knows what he’s going to say.

“Can we go on patrol now?” he asks, gaze drifting down to the floor. 

Donnie is responsible for creating the routes for their nightly patrols and ensuring that they’re strategically switched so that their enemies can’t form a recognizable pattern for ambush. They learned years ago that having a predictable routine was dangerous.

Of course they’re going to patrol though, they wouldn’t miss a night for no reason after all and Donnie already informed his brothers which route they’ll be taking tonight. But that’s not what he’s really asking. No, Mikey is asking to go out an hour early so that he can look for Kappa. Donnie can only sigh at his brother’s naïve insistence.

“Mikey, we still have a while until we’re supposed to head out and I’m busy,” he replies, gesturing at the circuitry on his lab bench and hoping his little brother will drop it. Donnie doesn’t want to have this conversation yet again.

“So,” he says to Donnie’s dismay, “what’s wrong with going out a little early? Maybe we’ll run across someone and you need to get out anyways Dee.”

Donnie knows he shouldn’t get so easily annoyed with Mikey, but he’s been moping around ever since Splinter’s earth-shattering confession. Also, Donnie would like to point out that he does not, in fact, need to get out and that the work he’s doing is much more important.

Placing his thumb and forefinger on the bridge of his snout and taking a moment to try and get his emotions under control, Donnie says, perhaps a little too sharply, “What don’t you get Mikey?” At Mikey’s confused stare, Donnie decides to elaborate, “Kappa isn’t family. He’s tried to kill all of us, remember? Just drop it, he’s a lost cause.” Yeah, maybe Donnie is being a little harsh on his baby brother, but Mikey needs to understand this isn’t some fantasy, this is dangerous.

Usually, the conversation would end here. Mikey may give some half-hearted reply or sometimes just walk away. Either way, Mikey should be about to give up and leave Donnie alone, even though it also usually means that Mikey is going to cry. 

A sudden and surprising anger Donnie rarely sees on Mikey’s face appears, “I’m not dumb Donnie, I know what he can do,” and to emphasize his point, he lifts his bandaged arm that had been injured during the battle, “but he’s our brother.”

At this, Donnie tries to interrupt, but Mikey just keeps going, voice growing a bit more stern, “He is our brother Donnie, whether you like it or not and he’s not a lost cause. What if it were me, huh? Would you guys just turn your backs on me?”

“Of course not Mikey,” Donnie says, not quite getting where this stubbornness came from. This isn’t how the conversation typically goes and Donnie’s trying, and failing, to not get flustered.

“Then why the shell are you guys giving up on him?!” he shouts and Donnie can’t help leaning forwards in his chair and raising his voice in response.

“Because he’s crazy! Mikey, you have no idea who he even is!” I mean seriously, Donnie thinks, how can Mikey be this ignorant?! Kappa tried to kill them. That’s not something any of them can or should forgive so soon.

“Neither do you!” he shouts back, hands balled into fists at his sides. “You guys always judge people before you get to know them and if you can believe that he’s evil or whatever, then I can believe that he’s good!”

Mikey’s visibly shaking and breathing heavy from the emotion behind his words. And he’s right, Donnie knows he is, but he ignores the tears forming in the corners of his baby brother’s eyes anyways when he says lowly, finitely, “He’s not my brother, Mikey. He’s not Raph’s and he’s certainly not yours. Stop being a child.”

Mikey doesn’t say anything in response, he just simply turns and leaves Donnie to wallow in the guilt of crushing his little brother’s dreams. And he knows Mikey will never forgive him for that.

ooo

An hour and a half later, the brothers suit up for patrol. Mikey won’t even look at Donnie and it makes him want to try to apologize, but he knows he can’t. Not sincerely at least, because if he’s honest with himself, he meant every word.

It doesn’t make it any easier to be on the receiving end of Mikey’s silent treatment though. It’s unnerving. 

Raph glances between them from where he’s standing on the apartment roof that marks the beginning of their patrol. He must have caught on that something had happened. He catches Donnie’s eye and Donnie quickly looks away, trying to keep any guilt off of his face. 

Apparently, he failed.

“Alright,” Raph says and then sighs, “what’s up with you two?” He gestures between Donnie and Mikey, who has his arms crossed and is staring over the cityscape. 

For a tense moment, it seems like neither one is going to talk, but then Mikey sighs and turns to face his brothers to ask, “What do you think about the whole Kappa situation Raph?”

Surprise flashes across Raph’s face, but quickly disappears. Even Donnie is a little shocked that Mikey would outright ask Raph that question. Surely he knows that Raph is going to side with Donnie, right? Donnie watches with anticipation as Raph prepares his answer.

“I mean,” he starts with a shrug, “Don’t get me wrong, I don’t trust him, but-“

“But?” Donnie steps forwards and cuts him off incredulously, “There’s a but? What is there to be uncertain about Raph?”

Raph scowls at him and replies with a little more heat to his tone, “If ya let me fucking talk, I’ll tell ya.” Now he’s the one with his arms crossed and Donnie doesn’t think he’ll like what Raph has to say next.

“He’s our brother Donnie,” and before Donnie can cut him off yet again, he raises his voice slightly and continues, “we don’t give up on family.”

And Donnie is so shocked that he can’t think at first. What?! Is Raph crazy? Can't he see that they are all covered in bandages from the last time they encountered this 'family' member his brothers are so keen on trusting? Donnie thought for sure that Raph would agree with him. Then they could help Mikey get over the whole thing and just get on with their lives. He absolutely did not think that Raph would ever say something like that. 

“Are you crazy?!” Donnie shouts, arms going wide, “He’s not family! He’s an enemy, Raph!” The confusion makes Donnie’s voice rise in pitch and if he cared at the moment, he may be a little embarrassed.

Now Raph steps forwards and it’s obvious he’s beginning to get frustrated. “What part a’ brother don’t ya get genius?” he growls out. 

“What part of homicidal maniac don’t you two get?” Donnie replies, looking at both of his brothers. This cannot be happening. They’re insane, absolutely insane, Donnie is the only one with any sense here. Well, he already knew that, but he thought his brothers were a bit reasonable than this.

“Dee, come on, why are you fighting this so hard?” Mikey asks, finally making eye contact with Donnie.

“Maybe because, unlike you two, I didn’t forget that he literally tried to kill all of us,” Donnie says. He can feel the beginnings of a headache coming on and he no longer wants to be on patrol. He just wants to go home.

“I never said I forgave ‘im Donnie,” Raph says, actually trying to reason with Donnie, “we’ve all done some bad shit, but that don’t mean I’d let any of ya be Shredda’s puppet.” There’s defiance in his tone, a stubbornness that, with Raph, means that he’s not going to let this go.

But if Raph’s stubborn, Donnie’s relentless. 

“Dee,” Mikey interrupts Donnie’s thoughts, “can’t you just give it a try?”

No, Donnie thinks, he can’t. He doesn’t know why his brothers are being so dumb, but he’s not going to drink this Kool-Aid. But instead of keeping the argument going and dragging their patrol on longer than necessary, Donnie simply shakes his head, which only aggravates his now steady headache, and starts moving towards the edge of the roof. 

His brothers follow in silence and jump across the roof just after him.

ooo

Donnie’s been laying in bed, watching the hours tick by and he’s still no where near tired. His mind is racing with thoughts about his family and he’s just got himself so worked up about it. He wants to talk to someone and vent, but he doesn’t want to wake up Splinter and he definitely doesn’t want to talk to Raph and Mikey right now. 

As Donnie flips to his other side one last time, he finally gives a frustrated huff and sits up. Grabbing his phone, he squints against the brightness of the screen and scrolls through his contacts. Coming across April’s image, he opens his messaging app and starts typing.

“April? U up?”

A few long minutes go by and Donnie sighs, getting ready to set down his phone and try to sleep again. Before he does though, three little dots pop up on his screen, indicating that April is responding. 

“Donnie? what are u doing up?”

“couldn’t sleep” he replies and waits a moment.

“ok, is something wrong?” she asks and Donnie takes a minute to think about how he wants to respond. 

He types, deletes the message, and then types again a couple of times before finally settling on: “no.. yes. raph and mikey want to just let Kappa into the family” He had told April last week about how Kappa really was their brother at one point. She seemed sympathetic then, but didn’t try to push her opinions on Donnie and he really appreciated that.

“do u need advice? Or do u just want to talk?” she asks, ever so caring. It makes Donnie smile a little as he stares at the screen.

“idk, both? I’m just upset that they would even consider letting him in after everything that’s happened…” 

It takes April a moment to respond, but sure enough, the little dots show up followed by, “Donnie, ur brothers aren’t stupid, they wouldn’t just ‘let him in’ I’m sure they’ll be careful & if he really is bad news, u guys can handle him.” 

A few seconds after her last message, she adds, “i thought u guys hadn’t seen him in weeks tho??”

Donnie thinks about what she’s saying. Yes, they can absolutely handle Kappa if they need to, they’ve already proven that they can. And Donnie supposes that April has a point. His brothers aren’t just going to invite Kappa over for a sleepover. No, he doesn’t have to like it, but when Kappa tries to stab them in the back, Donnie will skip over the ‘I told you so’ and jump straight to the beat down.

Plus… they haven’t seen him in a while. Who knows? Maybe he’s dead. 

He wraps up his conversation with April, feeling the heaviness of exhaustion pulling him down. He says goodnight to her and just barely refrains from sending a heart emoji. Setting down his phone on the bedside table and rolling over to snuggle under the blankets, Donnie finally falls asleep. All the while hoping Kappa is dead, but knowing he could never be that lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes, with all of this hostility, how the hell does Leo worm his way into the safety of the family? Or, perhaps, it should be: how does the family worm their way into Leo’s closed off heart? Also, is it just me or is the fact that Donnie would confide in April super cute?


End file.
